Time to Reimagine Our Waking Dream

I dreamed I was underwater, in a vast garden of green leafy sea vegetables, growing upward endlessly toward the filtering light of day. I understood that there was an endless supply of this delicious, nutritionally dense food, and that earth was designed to give abundantly to all who dwelt upon her. I gathered the stalks as I ascended upward, intending to share this with everyone I could....

Coming out of the depths of that dream, I realized we are enthralled by a  very different dream, one of scarcity, fear, and self-hatred. It’s one that has been taught to us throughout all our cultural experiences, to think of the world and participate in  society according to it’s dictates. Sometimes, if we are lucky, something comes along and pops our bubble, and we are suddenly outside the box, no longer a part of the matrix. Then we see our programming for what it is and can think constructively and originally again, practicing and using our skills and not being obsessed with the contents of our thoughts.

Our thoughts, all of them, are designed by what information we are exposed to and we have been exposed to a world that primarily serves a small smattering of very selfish and dis-eased people who fabricated a social experiment that captured and steered the perceptions of billions. You must not believe a single thought in your head that has no correlation to your present moment reality. It is being mesmerized, an illusionist’s trick. That small glitch between being lost and being found, happens in an instant. 

Practice vigilaxation....be very present and at ease with what is. If you want to learn this technique, study a cat. Discover what is available to you as information by being fully absorbed in the sensation of consciousness-ing. Every bit of truth imaginal is available to you here. It is the only reality where choice is optional because you are no longer operating on automatic. Take a deep dive into a close encounter with yourself.

Then...ACT from that space within that is in harmony with this planet and all that lives upon her...a much deeper knowing than Google AI will ever replícate or express. Billions of years of ancient wisdom reverberate within, a rhythmic heartbeat, the call of the drums of our elder teachers and shamans. We each arise brand new from that place, and uniquely flower when we shake off the shackles and free ourselves.

We are surfing a rough and tumble sea. Find your balance. Relax. BE safe. You are THAT...!

Suzen

Quotes from Adyashanti

Ego is basically the movement of the mind toward objects of perception in the form of grasping and away from objects in the form of aversion.

This fundamentally is all the ego is.

This movement of grasping and aversion gives rise to a sense of a separate "me," and in turn the sense of "me" strengthens itself this way.

It is this continuous loop of causation that tricks consciousness into a trance of identification.

Identification with what?

Identification with the continuous loop of suffering.

After all, who is suffering?

The "me" is suffering.

And "who" is this me?

It is nothing more than a sense of self caused by identification with grasping and aversion.

You see, it's all a creation of the mind, an endless movie, a terrible dream.

Don't try to change the dream -- trying to change it is just another movement in the dream.

Look at the dream. Be aware of the dream.

That awareness is It.

Become more interested in the awareness of the dream than in the dream itself.

What is that awareness? Who is that awareness?

Don't go spouting out an answer, just be the answer.

Be It.

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One of the most beautiful inquiries is, “What does my life serve?” This is a big question. It’s not asking, “What form is my service taking?” It doesn’t particularly matter what form our service takes when we are serving the silence of the heart. The only thing that’s important is, “What is my life really serving?

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"If you are a true seeker of liberation you've got to be willing to stand alone. At the moment of Liberation everything falls away...everything. Suddenly the ground beneath your feet is gone, and you are alone. You are alone because you have directly realized that there is no other, there is no separation. There is only you, only Self, only limitless emptiness, pure consciousness.

To the mind, the ego, this appears terrifying. When the mind looks at limitlessness and infinity, it projects meaninglessness and despair. To the ego Absolute Freedom can look terrifying. But when the mind is let go of, the view changes from meaningless despair and fear to the unending joy and wonder of Liberation.

In Liberation, you stand alone. You stand alone because you need no supports of any kind. You need no supports because you have realized that the very notion of a separate you no longer exists; that there is nothing to support; that the whole ego experience was a flimsy illusion. So you stand alone but never, never lonely because everywhere you look, all you see is That, and You are That."

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This innocence waking up, realizing that everything is itself, even all the confusion and all the ignorance and everything....this is the dissolving of confusion, of ignorance, of karma.

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Enlightenment is perceiving not through the lens of ego. It is not an unending satori experience, unending awakening experience. This misunderstanding will create
more tail chasing than it is dreamed possible.

It is not the quality of "aha" that will sustain because it will not sustain itself. Next week you may be going to have another "aha" that is bigger.

True practices or useful spiritual disciplines, if there is any, is a way not fueling the egoic consciousness.

The liberating truth is not static; it is alive. It cannot be put into concepts and be understood by the mind. The truth lies beyond all forms of conceptual fundamentalism. What you are is the beyond—awake and present, here and now already.

To be here, all you have to do is let go of who you think you are. That’s all! And then you realize, "I’m here." Here is where thoughts aren’t believed. Every time you
come here, you are nothing. Radiantly nothing. Absolutely and eternally zero. Emptiness that is awake. Emptiness that is full. Emptiness that is everything.

http://www.adyashanti.org

Return to Silence

Silence is the language of God, all else is translation

-- Rumi

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"I have a capacity in my soul for taking in God entirely.
I am as sure as I live that nothing is so near to me as God.
God is nearer to me than I am to myself..."

-- Meister Eckhart

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"The silence of a quiet mind is the essence of that beauty. Because it is silent and because it is not the plaything of thought, then in that silence there comes that which is indestructible, which is sacred. In the coming of that which is sacred then life becomes sacred, your life becomes sacred, our relationship becomes sacred, everything becomes sacred."

--Krishnamurti

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You are not what happens; you are the space in which it happens. You are not your thoughts; they come and go. You are the vastness in which these thoughts appear and disappear because underneath all your thinking there is the stillness of pure being,... pure consciousness, the timeless dimension of yourself.

- Eckhart Tolle

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"Choose silence, and love is apparent.

When we choose silence, we choose to give up the reasons not to love,
which are the reasons for going to war, or continuing war, or separating,
or being a victim, or being right. In a moment of silence, in a moment of
no thought, no mind, we choose to give those up.
This is what my teacher invited me to.

Just choose silence. Don't even choose love. Choose silence, and love is
apparent. If we choose love we already have an idea of what love is.

But if you choose silence, that is the end of ideas. You are willing to
have no idea, to see what is present when there is no idea, past,
present, future. No idea of love, no idea of truth, no idea of you, no
idea of me. Love is apparent."

--Ganga Ji

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When we are empty of ego we, too, can carry on in calm acceptance of
life's varying events. When we cease making prejudicial distinctions -
gentle or harsh, beautiful or ugly, good or bad - a peaceful stillness
will permeate our mind. If there is no ego, there is no agitation.

-- Master Han Shan

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Live in your Unborn Buddha-Mind. Then there's no regression. No need for advancement. Any idea of wanting to make progress is already a regression from the place of the Unborn. A man of the Unborn has nothing to do with advancing or backsliding. He's always beyond them both.

Since the Buddha-Mind takes care of everything by means of the Unborn, it has nothing to do with Samsara or Nirvana. Seen from the place of the Unborn, both are like shadows in a dream. There can be no death for what was never born.

The marvelous brightness of the Buddha-Mind, by means of words, is able to enlighten people and deliver them from their illusions one by one. And when someone hears these words, understands and affirms them, he will know for himself that the Buddha-Mind' s wonderful brightness surpasses even the brightness of the sun and moon.

What an incalculable treasure is your Buddha-Mind!

--Writing: The Unborn: The Life and Teachings of Zen Master Bankei
Translated by Norman Waddell

There is Only This

When the great Chinese Zen master Ta-mei was dying, his students asked him for a final helpful word. "When it comes, don't try to avoid it; when it goes, don't run after it," he said. Just then, a squirrel chattered on the roof. "There is only this, there is nothing else," said Ta-mei, and then he died.

Can we conceive of what this is? Can this be enough for us? Is there another reality more real or more wonderful than this? To know that there is only this is to, as Hui-neng put it, "see the original nature and not become confused."

~ Francis Dojun Cook, How to Raise an Ox

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Silently and serenely one forgets all words;

Clearly and vividly That appears

When one realizes it, it is vast and without edges;

In its Essence, one is clearly aware.

Singularly reflecting is this bright awareness,

Full of wonder is this pure reflection.

Dew and moon,

Stars and streams,

Snow on pine trees,

And clouds hovering on the mountain peaks.

In this reflection all intentional efforts vanish.

Serenity is the final word of all the teachings;

Reflection is the response to all manifestations.

~ Hung Chih of the Tsao Tung School

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Rest in Natural Great Peace

Rest in natural great peace
This exhausted mind
Beaten helpless by karma and neurotic thought,
Like the relentless fury of the pounding waves
In the infinite ocean of samsara.
Rest in natural great peace.

Above all, be at ease, be as natural and spacious as possible. Slip quietly out of the noose of your habitual anxious self, release all grasping, and relax into your true nature. Think of your ordinary emotional, thought-ridden self as a block of ice or a slab of butter left out in the sun. If you are feeling hard and cold, let this aggression melt away in the sunlight of your meditation. Let peace work on you and enable you to gather your scattered mind into the mindfulness of Calm Abiding, and awaken in you the awareness and insight of Clear Seeing. And you will find all your negativity disarmed, your aggression dissolved, and your confusion evaporating slowly like mist into the vast and stainless sky of your absolute nature.

~ Sogyal Rinpoche, The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying

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"In the mind of natural perfection, certainly, moral discrimination and moral causality do not exist, yet what remains in nondual 'bodhichitta' , both the ground and the emanation of pure mind, which can only ever be pure vision and perfect conduct. .... there is no fall from grace, and there never has been a fall, and in the realization of that reality where the golden age lies just beneath an insubstantial, fragile surface of dualistic belief, any moral dualism becomes a problem rather than the solution.

So stay here, you lucky people,
Let go and be happy in the natural state.
Let your complicated life and everyday confusion alone
And out of quietude, doing nothing, watch the nature of mind.
This piece of advice is from the bottom of my heart:
Fully engage in contemplation and understanding is born;
Cherish non-attachment and delusion dissolves;
And forming no agenda at all reality dawns.
Whatever occurs, whatever it may be, that itself is the key,
And without stopping it or nourishing it, in an even flow,
Freely resting, surrendering to ultimate contemplation,
In naked pristine purity we reach consummation. "

~Longchepa, translated by Keith Downman

--from "Old Man Basking in the Sun."

"You'll laugh on the day of awakening, so you might as well laugh now!"


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A Fisherman

By Ikkyu (Ikkyu Sojun)
(1394 - 1481)

Studying texts and stiff meditation can make you lose your Original Mind.
A solitary tune by a fisherman, though, can be an invaluable treasure.
Dusk rain on the river, the moon peeking in and out of the clouds;
Elegant beyond words, he chants his songs night after night.

-- from Wild Ways: Zen Poems of Ikkyu, Translated by John Stevens

Reveries on Awakening

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I had always had a sense of 'innerness', a sense of a 'center' within. Then at one point it struck me that my sense of center could be an "assumption", not a fact. I suddenly realized that that assumption created a sense of inner/outer, of a 'me' inside and of a 'world' outside. With that realization I was able to 'let go' of that assumption. With that letting go consciousness became as a point that was everywhere at once. There was no longer an 'outside'. Everything was included in that expanded sense of spaceless presence. It was as if the 'subjective geometry' of experience became radically simpler, indeed as if there were no geometry at all!

~Peter Dziuban in Consciousness is All

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The gate was opened to me ... in one quarter of an hour I saw and knew more than if I had been many years together at a University ... I saw it as in a great deep in the internal; for I had a thorough view of the Universe, as a complex moving fullness wherein all things are couched and wrapped up.

~Jacob Boehme

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If I were to spend years and years imagining how to invent anything so beautiful, I could not do it, and I do not even know how I should try, for, even in its whiteness and radiance alone, it exceeds all that we can imagine.

~Saint Teresa of Avila

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Our true nature is not limited ... it is like the vast ocean. ... When we touch Supreme Consciousness through meditation, then we are boundless, we are everywhere, we are eternal.

~Amma Karunamayi

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At midnight I abruptly awakened. At first my mind was foggy, then suddenly that quotation flashed into my consciousness: "I came to realize clearly that Mind is no other than mountains, rivers, and the great wide earth, the sun and the moon and the stars." And I repeated it. Then all at once I was struck as though by lightning, and the next instant heaven and earth crumbled and disappeared. Instantaneously, like surging waves, a tremendous delight welled up in me, a veritable hurricane of delight, as I laughed loudly and wildly: "Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha! There's no reasoning here, no reasoning at all! Ha, ha, ha!" the empty sky split in two, then opened its enormous mouth and began to laugh uproariously ... Shakyamuni and the patriarchs haven't deceived me!"

~from "The Three Pillars of Zen" by Phillip Kapleau

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Behold what wonderful rest is in the Supreme Spirit
! and he enjoys it; who makes himself meet for it.
Held by the cords of love, the swing of the Ocean of Joy
sways to and fro; and a mighty sound breaks forth in song.
See what a lotus blooms there without water !
and Kabir says"My heart's bee drinks its nectar."

What a wonderful lotus it is,
that blooms at the heart of the spinning wheel of the universe!
Only a few pure souls know of its true delight.
Music is all around it,
and there the heart partakes of the joy of the Infinite Sea.
Kabir says: " Dive thou into that Ocean of sweetness:
thus let all errors of life and of death fiee away."

~Kabir

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These spiritual windowshoppers,
who idly ask, "How much is that?" "Oh, I'm just looking."
They handle a hundred items and put them down,
shadows with no capital.

What is spent is love and two eyes wet with weeping.
But these walk into a shop,
and their whole lives pass suddenly in that moment,
in that shop.

Where did you go? "Nowhere."
What did you have to eat? "Nothing much."

Even if you don't know what you want,
buy something, to be part of the exchanging flow.

Start a huge, foolish, project,
like Noah.

It makes absolutely no difference
what people think of you.

~Rumi, version by Coleman Barks, from "We Are Three"

First 3-Day Silent Retreat in Costa Rica

0Our first silent retreat is finally complete with glowing results, at least it seemed so from the look on participants faces. It was small and intimate, only 5 of us and all women.

Our Zendo

We began on a beautiful, sunny Wednesday afternoon, with plenty of time to settle in private rooms, tour the grounds, and go over the schedule before dinner. After a meal of fresh fish, whole grains, and salad, we gathered for questions and answers in preparation for 3 days of silence. Everyone was ready to enter that now moment arising when we give our full attention to the Source of our Being.

Our Daily Focus

The schedule was very precise, incorporating three 40 minute sittings in the morning, a 2 1/2 hour break for lunch, and another 3 sittings in the afternoon. Sittings were alternated with 20 minute breaks for stretching and personal care. Following the evening meal, there was another sitting followed by a short satsang and & A session. Our only concern was the variable winds that sometimes are very strong in the mountains of Atenas. In fact, our first morning was punctuated by a gust that knocked down and shattered a small vase that held a bundle of sage. So we moved indoors for all of Thursday, only to realize in the evening that we preferred being out of+doors, even with the periodic blusters.

The Buddha Watches....

Though some were certain that maintaining silence would be difficult, each were dedicated to respect it as the medium for realization. We recognized collectively that every Master has pointed to the power of Silence as the gateway beyond concepts and beliefs and into experiential Oneness. Though 3 days is really the minimal amount of time within which the veil of thought becomes noticeable, everyone had a taste of that deep peace pre-existing before the mind takes one step.

Reflecting Stillness...

Saturday, the quiet was so compelling, no one wanted to leave. In silence, we discovered what is behind the rattling of our endless thoughts....just awareness. We used the Awareness Watching Awareness Method as a tool to help us focus our attention on Awareness itself, not easy when the mind is busy narrating everything you do. But all it takes is a glimpse....

Beauty Is...

Thank you to Juan Enrique and Unity of Costa Rica for your continuing support, and thank you M.S., S.V., C.M., and S.C. for your courage, sincerity, and willingness to trust me as your guide. It was truly wonderful to share this with you. Namaste.

He Who Hesitates is Lost

Well, there aren't hundreds stampeding to view my site. Am I too radical? How can this be? It's just the truth as I see it, and the possibility of CHANGE. Maybe there are few who really want to change...

I guess people still believe if they pray, chant, meditate, march, and talk enough, the change will take care of itself. Well, it will, in one sense. Whatever will happen, will happen. Maybe Ron Paul will be President and global warming will not cause any problems for the next 100 years (but I'm not holding my breath!) It would be nice to believe we have all the time necessary so we can continue living the lives we've worked so hard to create so far. So much easier to be on automatic, to continue to believe in a God who will save us, to think clicking away at the internet will do some good. I mean, why make waves?

Maybe your life is basically good, and you are relatively content. You are able to pay the bills, you have a little in savings for a rainy day, your children are doing well in school. It's nice to come home, put up your feet, watch your favorite show on TV, pop something in the microwave. Maybe you have a satisfying relationship with someone who likes similar activities. Maybe your sex life is improving. It's just so much easier to not look around too much, not read too much, not be too aware of the rest of the world. Just keep keeping on making the mortgage and car payments, paying taxes, accumulating more gadgets to make life easier. I mean isn't that what it's all about?

You look around you and everyone else is pretty much doing the same thing. It's interesting to get together and talk about the insanity that is happening, how Joe can't sell his house and it may go into foreclosure, how Bill lost his job at the Company, how the price of gas keeps going higher, how you might not be able to send Billy to soccer camp this year. You join in the communal venting for a bit, then go home to continue the routine. Maybe you only put a dollar in the collection plate instead of five, but you have hope. You have faith that someone will fix it.

The Truth is that there is no one "out there", no separate something that will save you. YOU are the answer you seek, YOU are the one to make the changes. That undercurrent of doubt and fear you keep hidden is trying to get your attention so that you will ACT. The wolf is at YOUR door, and ignoring that fact will not keep you from getting eaten.

The engineers in New Orleans knew for many years that the levees were inadequate, but failed to act on that knowledge. The cost has been immeasurable, so many freedoms and lives lost, so much profiteering taking place. Humans have a predilection for procrastination, but remember, he who hesitates is lost. Do you think it can't happen again, that it can't happen to you?

Your government has sold you down the river. It only cares about itself and its agenda for expansion. Those with money get the life rafts while the rest go down. It is beyond borders, it is a global corporate elite calling the shots, and they don't care if they have to sacrifice America to get what they want. The game is World Domination, and our Constitutionally protected sovereign rights are the last hurdle. They are evaporating as we speak. What to do, what to do....?

I can't really answer that question. YOU know what you need to do, the question is will you do it? And I'm not talking about all the ways you distract yourself so you don't have to deal with the Truth another day. Part of the problem is the numerous ways we can distract ourselves - drinking, smoking, shopping, TV, working, sex, etc. Is any of it helping to alleviate your growing anxiety? Wake up, stop dreaming, grieve for your broken illusions if you must, and then get moving.

A PROPOSAL...

There are dozens of organizations and web sites that discuss the possibility of awakening in this life time as a precursor to any real change occurring on the planet at large and most of them I agree with. However, few offer any real practical way to create a lifestyle that supports this on an ongoing basis. There are definitely some retreats that give one a taste of what it is to be awake and I highly recommend them (please check out some of my links), but most people come away finding themselves still immersed in a lifestyle not really conducive to growing further in embodying this awakening. It is to those who are seeking a viable way to incorporate their realization into a mode of action that I offer this proposal.

I have done much research concerning patterns of earth change and its impact on the countries of the world, and presently have chosen Costa Rica as one of the places where we can implement our plan of creating a haven for awakening individuals that is self-supporting. We aim to attract investors who wish to remove themselves from the insanity being played out by the industrial/military/pharmaceutical corporations wishing to dominate our lives, and want to support awakening consciousness while still making a living. We believe that if only a handful step forward with the initial financial help needed, we can make it worth their while by offering an ongoing income plus land upon which to build a home, making it an investment that will increase in equity and help others who seek to deepen in this process of awakening.

Consider the many ways your money is now spent that works only to continue a system that is obviously unsustainable and no longer serves anyone. One only has to look at the world stage, with its wars of aggression, trade agreements that end up impoverishing nations, and corporate greed, to see how out of control things are. Though there are precious few ways in the physical realm to completely step away from what is currently in place, it is plausible to consider that one can reduce one's reliance on governments or other authorities whose aim is to eliminate sovereignty and keep us compliant and enslaved to their agendas. But governments are working overtime to close any loopholes that allow us to live freely, so time is of the essence. The escalating fear that has most people in denial is gathering strength; the outcome of this is unknown, but it does not bode well for human beings as a whole. So I am calling out to men and women of integrity to put your money where your mouth is and make an uncompromising decision to to jump from the sinking ship of life as we once believed it, and to create something new and life-promoting.

We are drafting an executive summary that explains thoroughly how the money will be used to create a center for awakening that offers silent retreats, as well as an opportunity to continue to live and work together to help this continue. Investors will receive a share of profits plus land to develop. We will create organically a community that has only one agenda: to assist in the awakening of consciousness by allowing those who are ready to not only step out of the box, but to stay out of the box. We do not promote any complicated processes, ideologies, or particular individuals. We do realize that there is one way most conducive to the awakening that caters to all individuals, and that is silent sitting. It cuts through all the myriad concepts and puts one immediately in touch with the thought processes that have one hypnotized and unrealized. And by continued sitting, these are seen for what they are, and one has the possibility of release.

I know there are many that feel stymied as to what they can actually do to help create change. They browse the internet daily, signing up for newsletters and clicking on petitions. They do their best to buy organic and live more simply. They gather at places of worship, in each others homes, and out on the streets to discuss, organize, and protest. But still the big wheels are turning. And they turn because still we buy gas for our SUV's, still we pay taxes, still we sign driver's and marriage licenses, still we go to work for the corporate machine. Our daily lives are monopolized by the very system we are raging against. This is an inner conflict that can only be resolved by walking one's talk. There's no getting away from it in even the minutest detail of our lives. It's no different than surrendering to an abusive relationship, where you are getting beat up every day, but continue to live as if everything were OK, putting on makeup to hide the bruises.

The Truth is difficult to bear at first. We go through stages with it. Denial is the first stage, but one can't stop there. Anger is next, the body's signal that an injustice is perceived, but ineffective anger often turns into depression unless there is an outlet for action. To act effectively is important, but it is to our own hearts we must turn to discover the way. No one else has the answers you seek, or knows the secrets you keep. You are the one to be the change you want in the world.

So if your path has you feeling more beat up than free, consider an alternative. Dialogue with us, explore the possibility, see if it fits. The heart will leap towards freedom, if given a chance to. How many more times will you plow it over with excuses? I'm sorry I can't soften this message with lovey-dovey, airy-fairy, New Age-speak, but that is just more pablum for the masses. This is only for those warriors who have the courage to SEE what is True and ACT on it.

Riding the Merry-go-Round....

This is how it looks to me...

Life as we know it in the human thought-realm matrix is like being on a merry-go-round. It looks like there is movement, the horses go up and down, and from a child-like perspective, it actually seems as if one is getting somewhere. But that's only if you're on the merry-go-round. For someone standing on the ground, it is obvious that the merry-go-round is just revolving in a small, circular orbit. Now for those riding the merry-go-round, there can be endless discussion on whether or not the merry-go-round has any purpose, if it is functioning correctly, the rules and regulations regarding being on the merry-go-round, who gets to ride the horses, lions, tigers, bears, or whatever, ad nauseum. Some will complain about the revolution speed, the need for an upgrade, new leadership (a merry-go-round czar?) or whatever. Some may even say we should stop the merry-go-round and get off, a very progressive stance indeed. But in the meantime, the merry-go-round continues to turn in it's little circle, around and around and around....

Now while you're riding the merry-go-round, you may notice others who are standing on the ground as you whizz by. They wave to you, indicating the possibility of you joining them on the ground, but you move by so fast you can't quite catch what they're saying. Maybe you'll catch "If you want to get off the merry-go-round..." before you've already passed them by on another revolution. Maybe you'll hear the words "...you've got to jump!" So you turn to your fellow riders to point out that there are some who are not on the merry-go-round, and isn't that interesting, and maybe jumping is an option, but very often it leads to endless discussions about the rationale of jumping, how is it accomplished, the possibility of injury, etc., etc. More questions beget more answers beget more discussions and on and on the merry-go-round turns, a thousand viewpoints and opinions endlessly expressed. It is comfortably beguiling in its familiarity, its hypnotic sameness, its apparent safety. It reinforces inaction by settling for ongoing debate between this, that, and the other.

The questions are unsolvable as long as you remain on the merry-go-round. That's why it's called a merry-go-round, it never really goes anywhere. There's only ONE way to get off a merry-go-round, my friend, and that is to JUMP!

Remember the first time you went off the high dive, how long it took you to get even to the bottom of the stairs because that first step was a commitment you couldn't back down from? And then standing up there, looking down at the water, how far it seemed, crazy even? And you were scared, whether you showed it or not, perhaps even terrified, because you could, after all, get killed? But in the end, when you got past all the debate and fear and actually JUMPED it was the most exhilarating, amazing, FREEING experience, and you wanted to do it again and again?

It is the same every time we approach the unknown. For some reason, as we get older, we tend to veer away from taking chances with our lives, unlike the toddler, who though falling every second step, is determined to discover walking. When very young, we were unconcerned about the opinions of others; the imperative to be mobile was paramount and there was no doubt in our ability to master it. But also back then we were undistracted, focussed, undeterred. Then came television...and round and round we go...

It is easy to ride a merry-go-round, lulled into a false sense of momentum and change. On the merry-go-round, you can change your seat and believe you have done something radical. But you might as well finally admit that you are on a merry-go-round and you're getting nowhere. There are no saviors on the merry-go-round, because once you're on it's more of the same. A pretty costume and innovative delivery doesn't change the fact that you're still on the merry-go-round.

So you better be clear...do you want to keep riding or do you want to get off?

I KNOW NOTHING...

Nothing...nada...zip!

I have no solutions for the tangled web we find ourselves in. It has been going on so long, this crazy social experiment designed to entrench us in "acceptable" ways of thinking and being, that to try and change it from within the "Matrix" is virtually impossible. Every so-called solution leads to further entrapment, a continuation of the game. As long as one is in the body, and especially if one is identified with the body, one still needs to eat, sleep, and shit. Survival itself is dependent on one's ability to subscribe to the limitations of the game. Even if you choose a role whose purpose is to expose the folly, you're still playing.

If you are struggling to find an answer, you are fighting what IS, and it loops you back into being someone who struggles. If you are a spiritual seeker, you are caught attempting to Become something other than what you already are, and again you end up back at the beginning. Escaping what IS is impossible, you are here on the playing field until you die. All you can do is OPEN YOUR EYES, not these little eyes that register the miniscule amount of light frequency we call Reality (ha, ha), but the one "I" that registers the whole picture. It comes back to WHAT and WHOM you are identified with, what you give your attention and awareness to, and how you act on what you discover from your willingness to SEE.

Most live out of REACTION to the events of their lives, because they draw their information from the KNOWN, or the PAST, not what actually IS. As we are programmed to emotionally accept or reject information according to what feels good or bad, we filter out that which challenges the KNOWN. What is called human nature is basically what we have been programmed to believe, NOT what is true. And a great deal of this programming tells us we are our bodies, thoughts and beliefs, not beings who have chosen to identify with such out of a simple misunderstanding.

But how to fix it? There is no fix WITHIN THE GAME! Only a continuation of the game...and on it goes, the big wheels grinding away.

So...I choose Nothing. Nothing to do, nowhere to go, nothing to be...at least as previously defined. Out of the box, and who knows? I have no predictions, no solutions, if want some there are plenty who will sell you water by the river. Just STOP IT! Oh shit, what will happen, everything will fall apart! Ha, too late, it's already here! Get out of your mind, out of your own way, there's no one who can save you, only YOU can choose!

But....you will wake up in the morning, and... Will you do as you're told, get dressed in the latest fashions, go to a job that stresses you out while making the CEO rich beyond imagining, keep paying the mortgage, the car payments, try to get the kids to Disneyland this year, etc., all the while pretending you've got it together because you can intelligently discuss the neo-con agenda? What would happen if you didn't?

Don't know and don't want to know....now THAT"S the adventure of a lifetime!

Is There Anybody Out There?

Ever since I was a little girl, I have been in wonderment at the craziness of human beings. I never could understand how they could subscribe to the highest ideologies on the one hand and yet indulge in such horrid behavior towards each other. It was so hypocritical, so bizarre, and so obviously detrimental. Our society is sick, neurotic, and completely unnatural when it comes to just being able to live a happy, free life. How did we get so off the track?

Over the years I have been studying the alternative media for clues and there is a plethora of information available on the internet describing how our so-called leaders have sold us out to corporate interests through the use of the most insidious of mind control techniques. Check out www.davidicke.com or www.commondreams.org for examples.

As soon as we are born, the programming begins. Our parents, already having been completely absorbed into the corporate-think, begin the process by telling us what they expect from "good" little "boys" and "girls". We watch TV and find out more about what we are expected to believe is important, how we are meant to fit into the system. It's all about consuming the products that the corporations tell us are fundamental to the good life we are supposed to want, and because everyone around us is plugged into the same cycle of working to acquire more of these objects of desire, we go along with it like sheep. The so-called educational system only teaches us to be good little worker bees and tax payers, not to think for ourselves. Even if we are unsatisfied enough to seek alternatives, they are just more of the same dressed up in prettier clothes.

I have had some pretty amazing experiences of jumping so far out of the system through using meditation, drugs, and alternative lifestyles that re-integration is no longer a possibility for me. But I am still in this human body and must somehow find a way to continue, and there are precious few options that have any attraction for me any longer. I can't bring myself to be a part of the machine that poses as the American Dream - it is a sham that is falling apart at the seams. And I can't be a part of any group that is in direct opposition to it either as it merely feeds the problem. The closest activities to any basic sanity are those labeled "spiritual", but that has also become a marketplace filled with personality cults, endless, and expensive, processes and programs, and maybe in the future, if you do it the "right" way, some possibility of enlightenment.

Now this enlightenment "business" really has started to bug me, because most of the time it is couched in such esoteric terms that no one understands at all how it is accomplished. I've met people who have been doing yoga, meditation, positive thinking, chanting, oming for world peace, and a kazillion other practices supposedly designed to bring one to self-realization. But very few actually reach this goal. I find that this striving to "get" somewhere is just another bottomless pit that is no different than any other material goal. Calling it "spiritual" just puts it on some lofty plane where you get to be more cool than those who are merely striving for more materialistic gain. But it is really the same old story that puts you right back where you started as far as being programmed to believe in some glorious future that will come about if you work hard enough. It is Bogus!

As long as you seek for your happiness in some outward activity or manifestation, it will not last. All outer phenomenon is transient at best. Change is the nature of things in this 3-dimensional universe. The question is: What is it that does NOT change, that is eternally present, that hums in the background as we scurry around trying to accumulate more "stuff"? How can we just rest within the great Isness of Life itself?

Well, the meditators start off on the right track, since it is in SILENCE that one can actually make contact with one's eternal nature. But you can't compartmentalize the infinite, can't fit it into the finite world. Many try to do so, I mean look at all the books that have been written and are gobbled up by the disillusioned in hopes of getting a taste. But it is just taking up room on your bookshelf and you are still unsatisfied. This all works to the advantage of a social system that wants you to be dissatisfied, always wanting MORE and MORE. There's only one way to step off this endless treadmill. And that is to JUST STOP IT. Stop participating in the hallucination. Take the big plunge!

In Zen, you go to a sesshin and sit, sit, sit. You sit in silence until it dawns on you that YOU are what you seek, YOU are the ONE. And then you sit some more. Silent sitting takes you out of the loop and allows the Truth to reveal itself, and if it really catches you, you would rather sit than just about anything else. And there comes a point when this fabrication, this story that you've been telling yourself about yourself falls away, and you are just HERE, present, much like a child who is happy just watching the grass grow. And for most this engenders great fear as if one was facing one's death. Because all you have known is what you have been conditioned to believe by society, and you discover it has NOTHING TO DO WITH WHO YOU ARE, it begins to fall away. This is always the point that is the greatest challenge to people, and this is when they often get up and run out of the room. But all the masters that ever were went through this dark night, this death of the conditioned SELF, before they woke up and achieved complete liberation. That's what LIBERATION is, freedom from ALL the conditioning and programming, right down to even thinking you're male or female. And the mind fights it because it looks like death. Real death is the same thing and we will all face it one day. But if you want liberation in this lifetime, there's only one way. Walk away from the dream long enough and JUST STOP.

Since I still am in the body, and need to feed, clothe, and shelter it, and because I left behind any desire to participate in the current nightmare playing out on the international stage, I have minimized my physical needs such that I have no debt, no obligations to others, no appointments to keep, no clock to watch. Just simple Being is enough. Yet the idea still comes...are there others, like me, who would create a sane life away from the maelstrom, where Truth can flower, and new, original ideas flourish? Is there anybody out there?

Bottom line is I would like to create a retreat center here in Costa Rica where the focus is on living an awakened life, where serious folks can actually STOP being a part of the growing insanity. This world is changing so fast, the earth changes are not going to get any better, and it's time to find a quiet place to rest. This isn't some airy, fairy lah-de-dah new age loopy groupy sales pitch, just a real possibility to step off the treadmill, hang with some cool folks who have no agenda whatsoever, grow some bananas, mangoes, and papayas, and let the rest of the world finish playing out this madness so we can start anew. Or maybe we'll be in paradise watching it all fall apart around us. In that case, I'll raise a glass to Life's amazing persistence that there IS a way to evolve and awaken, even if mankind has screwed it up once again.

If this post has you the least bit interested, drop us a line at iamgodsjoy@yahoo.com . We would love to hear from you.