This blog is only about awakening, nothing more, nothing less. Anything that will contribute to the possibility of complete liberation from the dream, or from the mass hallucination of humanity, or from the mental matrix, or from the false self, or from the lie, or any other label you want to call it, is welcome here. The key words are FREEDOM and JOY. Sometimes I think this reporting about stuff just keeps the false story going and only adds to the insanity, and there's too much of that already. But something is trying to pry the lid off still, something awaits to be seen. We are all in this boat together, so here we go......have fun!


Sunday, September 21, 2008

If You Must, Take Action!

There is no point waiting for someone else to fix the problems in the world. YOU must take a hard and unwavering look at how YOU have facilitated the madness. Where is your mind, where are your thoughts? Do you waste endless hours in escapist fantasies and tactics while your world is crashing around you? Are you waiting for rescue? Do you think space ships will come next month and take you home? Do you know who you are?

If you must take action, do it NOW. If you must speak up, do it NOW! Are you working for the corporate fascists because you're afraid that if you quit you will not be able to pay your bills? Are you watching FOX, sipping a beer, waiting for your guru to call? Are you sitting in a room meditating on forgiveness while your Mac & Cheese heats up in the microwave?Are you mindlessly sucking up to what they tell you? You are cutting off your own air supply, you have given over your life and are committing slow suicide. This is no time to succumb to fear. It is either sink or swim time, and no one will escape.

Stop eating their junk food. Stop shopping at their stores. Stop taking their cancer drugs. Stop paying their salaries. Stop paying taxes. Stop using their banks. Stop funding their charities. Stop sending your kids to their schools. Stop watching their TV programs. Stop watching their movies. Stop pretending that it's all normal. Stop talking about stupid shit. Stop talking.

Listen. Listen to what they are really telling you. Listen to how much bullshit surrounds you. Listen to how they tell you how to be. Listen to how they tell you who you are. Is it true? Are you a suit, a skirt, a mask, a bit player, a role, a concept, an idea, a belief system, an ideology, a religion, a political party, a nation, a skin color, a race, a product, a feeling, an emotion, an ego, a thought? Are you an original or a copy?

What is true? What is it that is always true? What is it that DOESN'T change? If you are going to ask questions, they ought to be good ones!

Sunday, September 7, 2008

The Fear of "Losing It" or "Going Crazy", Living Without Mind

Many now involved with the waking up process say that when they hear terms like living in…No- Mind…Emptiness…The Great Space...Vanishing…Void Nature…The Death of the Ego, or Seeing before mind, are somewhat fearful of such an adventure beyond the mind. They are fearful of losing it, of vanishing all together, or even of going crazy, if they go too deep down the rabbit hole from their minds known reference points.

This fear of vanishing or losing the mind which “does” arise with deep inquiry needs to be looked at. It is the old sensation referring to the old concept of... I am the Body…I am the mind… I am Name and Form…I am my past…and so on. This Fear is not a fear of the “New” or of the “Now”, but of leaving the old; this fear comes when mind comes. When mind goes the “You” itself goes, and with this “You” goes any fear of losing it.

Consider that only when you possess something does the fear of losing it come into play. What is first needed is to discover what is “real” and what is “not real”. What is “not real” is what comes and goes, like name and form, the body, and yes the mind also.

This mind is the root of our suffering and once we really see this, really get it, then the possibility of it going makes some sense. What is “real” is what does not come and go, this can not ever be lost, is not perishable, does not die, only “this” cannot be lost, only “this” is who and what you really are, only “this” has no name or form, and only “this” brings peace.

The fear that you will be going crazy without a mind is only real in duality, and where there is duality there is fear, anger, desire, hate, stress, wars: In short…Real Craziness.

So above all don’t wobble and don’t be afraid of losing your mind, because no-mind is the real sanity and who we really are, our natural state. In this basic sanity there is no-mind, no anger, no judgments, no duality. In this sanity of no-mind we find wisdom and peace.

So don’t be afraid of losing the mind, and “Yes” you will lose this mind, it will go and the sooner the better as it is “not real” and what is not real has to go. So relax, keep quiet and keep aware of what is “real” and what is “not real” and know that many before you have gone through this. Many are living in true peace and bliss without a mind.

To have the courage to go beyond the mind one needs to let go. This letting go is not letting go of just what your mind thinks needs to be let go of, based on some spiritual or religious teachings or on any idea of good and evil, but letting go of all and everything. Once this mind is gone, even gone for just a moment, a second, then a new view will appear, “that” has always been here, “that” will always be here, and you are “that”.

You have giving your whole life to others, to objects, to all the solutions given to you by others, and yet true peace is not happening. So now take just this moment, this very second for just yourself, stop all and everything, keep quiet with no effort, and see what it is like to be free of this thing called mind, and see where real peace resides.

Tuesday, September 2, 2008

What is "No Self"?

You will often hear the phrase “no self” in Buddhist, enlightenment and non-duality circles and teachings. What does that mean? There is an old Zen cliche, “Before Enlightenment chop wood carry water, after Enlightenment, chop wood carry water.” What is the difference? The difference is that, after enlightenment, there is no sense of a separate self doing anything. Before enlightenment, there is a story, “I am chopping wood and carrying water.” The story takes on many other variations, “I go to work each day and earn a living.” “I am a spiritual seeker seeking spiritual awakening.” The central illusion is the story of “me” and all other stories arise from that central dream.

After enlightenment, the same things happen. Chopping wood, carrying water, and going to work each day. But there is no sense of a “me” doing anything. But what does that really mean? From the perspective of consciousness within a body and mind that believes he is really a person trying to understand this thing called, “no self,” the whole notion of no “me” doing anything can sound nutty.

There are spiritual teachings of all kinds. There are ones that say, “There is nothing you can do to become enlightened because there is no separate you.” Although that can feel frustrating, it is ruthlessly compassionate, IF there is a readiness in you to hear that particular, very direct pointer. How can an idea or a path get you here, to this moment? Spiritual awakening can only happen now because the spirit is always, already, and only here in this moment. The whole idea of a separate person who could get here to this moment (to beingness) is an illusion. But if there is still a belief in you that you are a person seeking enlightenment, then such direct pointers will be utterly meaningless. A seeker once told me that if he hears one more teacher say, "No person can find enlightenment because there is no person," he was going to kill himself. For those still imprisoned in the idea of a separate self, a softer approach such as “be present” or “watch thoughts” might work to undo that story of “me." At some point along the illusory "spiritual path," reality must be faced however. No one can get here (to presence) because it is already here.

The particular pointer or teaching has literally nothing to do with the actual realization of “no self.” The pointers or teachings are merely describing a falling away of an illusion that you are a person separate from the rest of life. “No self” is a shift in the way consciousness lives within the body and mind. It is a change in energy. That is all. It has nothing to do with whatever particular ideas, teachings, methods, or perspectives happen to arise. The realization of “no self,” once it is seen fully, reveals that there is in fact not even a self to attach to one particular teaching or method over the other. Consciousness is seen to be so literally free that it can take any or all sorts of perspectives. There may be a clearer way of pointing, but ultimately liberation is not attached in any way to any expression. If you see a teaching that drums one particular way of pointing down your throat or trumpeting one particular method, you can bet that consciousness has created an unconscious little "self" through an attachment to a particular method or even an expression. This shift in energy called "no self" is a nonattachment to all ideas. Never trust a teacher who appears to believe his own shit. Don't get caught up in comparing one teaching to the next. Comparison energy is just seeking, disguised as a "search for clearer teachings." Allow all pointers to point you to this moment, then let go of them. They are of no use in the end. In fact, every pointer or teaching you memorize dies naturally when the true realization of "no self" happens. In the end, there is no self to give a crap about any of that. That is not apathy. That is love no longer attached to ideas.

The true “no self” is a simple way of being in this moment, free of identification with thought including all spiritual ideas. Yes, it is true that "thought" arises as 'This' as you will hear teachings say. But it arises without attachment (unless it is trying to trumpet its own path, belief system, religion, expression, teaching, method, or pointer in which case it arises with attachment). The self is essentially just attachment to thought, emotion, and other things. Once that is gone, although thought and emotion still arise, they arise to no one. This freedom includes freedom from attachment to spiritual insights and methods (including "no method" which is just another method). Remember that spiritual insights are thoughts too. No matter what you say about spirituality, it is just an idea, ultimately as empty as any other idea.
Krishnamurti used to so eloquently say, "methods are always quarreling with each other." Translated: selves are fighting with selves. Only a self attached to a particular method or way of pointing would quarrel in this way. Does the actual realization of "no self" have a method? Hardly. Only consciousness attached to form makes a big deal out of the way enlightenment is expressed, found, or realized. True liberation can express enlightenment from virtually any angle and can meet a seeker exactly where he is in his own dream of a separate self.

S e e . . . t h a t . . . e v e r y . . . i d e a . . . i s . . . e m p t y . . .
a n d . . . t h e n . . . p l a y . . .
w i t h . . . t h e m . . . a l l.

In that playing, you realize in a way that is impossible to truly describe that there is no separate entity playing with separate things called ideas. There is only the playing. Life is living itself. In the "no self" realization, there is a loving emptiness embracing, and yet ultimately untouched by, form. There is very little, if any, self-measuring, or self-referencing. The whole mechanism of looking back to “see how I’ve been doing” that is such a hallmark of the ego is gone. The mechanism of looking forward to future is gone (except for practical thinking). “No self” is a living realization. It can play with any and all expressions and philosophies but it is essentially free of all of them. It is utterly free even of any philosophy about whether there is a self or not.

This realization is totally alive now and only now. It is not stuck in past insights, philosophies, expressions, traditions, beliefs, religions, or words like “non-duality” or “enlightenment.” It is not stuck in thoughts about the self, work, others, turtles, pickles, Oneness or anything else. It is simply an emptiness naturally and effortlessly relating and embracing the world of form, the world of words, things, and people, in a way that sees no true divisions. This is where it gets hard to express. In “no self,” there is a fundamental seeing that life is just happening now. It is not happening to anyone. And yet there is a celebration of the apparent people, apparent things, and apparent objects. You will still tell your wife, “I love you.” You will still call your dog, “Buck.” You will still put your name on job applications. You will still use pronouns. You will see that whether you use the word "you" or not has nothing to do with the actual realization of "no self." The actual realization is an energy shift. It has nothing to do with whether you still call yourself and others by their names or use "me," "we," or "you." But you will see, fundamentally, the empty nature of all form. Therefore you will see the empty nature of all pronouns, names, people, objects, ideas, and even the earth, sun, and moon.

You will see the foolishness in ever believing that form and formlessness are separate in any way, and yet you will respect the apparent separateness between your body and the space around it, between the earth and the sky. This is why true non-duality or "no self" cannot be expressed. The expression of it is not, “It’s all One” or "there is no self." Those are ideas. There is no such thing as a statement of the truth. Everything on this page is an idea. "No self" is an energy shift. A shift in the way consciousness sees and moves through the world. It is more like a not knowing. In that not knowing, love just sees itself everywhere. It sees both the ideas of "self" and "no self" appearing as expressions of this one inexpressible present play of life. No separate person could ever see that. The person is always too busy measuring whether he has or has not seen it or too busy looking for it or claiming he has found it. In the pure seeing, the entity within who made a big deal about whether there is a separate self or Oneness or enlightenment is gone. That is when "no self" stops being a philosophical concept and starts being an inexpressible living reality in this moment, which ironically continues expressing itself anyway.

By Scott Kiloby

Sunday, August 10, 2008

Become the Change

In the times that come, those of you who make the choice to become part of the wholistic transformation of this planet and its inhabitants will lead the way through the transformation of yourselves. Mankind is inspired by example, not by words, written or spoken. Will you each be as famous as Mother Theresa? No indeed! Your example will be one of living the life of purposeful focus. Each day, your intent is to be a human becoming for the purpose of Mankind becoming and the planet becoming. This commitment in unison will bring forth an aura of magnetism that will reflect in all aspects of your experience. Will it make you a millionaire? Probably not. Your focus is to participate in the larger creative flow into an experience that will have parameters that are yet unknown. The basic concept on which all higher dimensions are based is in the understanding that the pivotal point to upliftment into evolving consciousness involves the unified focus of returning to the level of the Creator.

The "one-upmanship" of accumulating and maintaining material wealth is a moot point. During the period of chaos as it facilitates the transition, those with intent to assist in the birthing of the new paradigm (rather than the maintenance of values to be transcended), will be assisted in having available what is needed in order to superintend facets of organization that are necessary. These will not be in the focus of leadership, but of setting the ideal or archetype of cooperation. Once before, a question was asked for your contemplation. You were asked if you could conceptualize a system in which there were no levels of leadership of hierarchybecause they were unnecessary. A unity of focus based on personal responsibility to fulfill the harmonious (shared) goal of "becoming" through individual experience sets up a cooperative environment. Cooperation replaces competition, and fear is no longer present. The accumulation of wealth is motivated by the desire for protection, which is based upon fear of what the future may hold, and is reinforced by the empowered ego through competition. "He who dies with the most toys wins" is an apt illustration of this imbalance. "It is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle (cultural reference to the small gate into a town or a house compound) than for a rich man to enter heaven (a state of contentment)." This is true, not because of the material things that are accumulated, but because of the basic attitudes that motivate him/her. Retirement funds are necessary because these same attitudes and beliefs bring on disease and degeneration of the body, illustrating the basic lack of trust in the Creator’s flow that birthed you into this life experience. In a nutshell, the moment you are born, you are taught to begin swimming upstream against the flow of creative expansion. It is now time that you climb out on a rock, take a good look around, and then begin swimming within the expansive flow. It is so much easier and "in-joy-able".

Swimming with the flow allows the focus of "becoming" to be thought acting within and upon itself. The resulting harmonious experience is that of being wholly supported in that quest. To accomplish this within an environment where Humanity is swimming in the opposite direction is impossible, unless it is accomplished within a cooperating group that is literally out of that flow. Pulling one's self out of that flow, up onto the rock, carefully perceiving the situation, and then making the decision to enter the greater flow of the Galaxy that is moving within creative expansiveness, brings you to a level that is outside of that struggling mass. Once the initial group begins this action by freewill choice, many increasing numbers will join, and a new flow is then formed to join the galactic flow. As those of the masses, literally wearing themselves out by spending their creative energy within the struggle, observe your life moving smoothly and easily along within that flow, your mission of reversing the flow will be well underway.

Your return ticket receives its first punch when you pull yourself out and stand on the rock and observe the situation from the level of accepting the situation as reality within the 3rd dimensional realm of planet Earth. The next punch in your ticket is received when you make your choice/commitment to bring forth a new paradigm of experience. The next is received when you begin the move within your consciousness, and change your life-expression through thought and action in harmony with your commitment to bring forth this new paradigm of experience with both the inhabitants and the planet. You then know the purpose of your incarnation at the fully conscious level, and the empty wondering will cease. You then will live in fulfillment of your purpose. To choose otherwise means tearing up your ticket. Can you get a new one? Later maybe, but you will have missed your intended purpose and your intended opportunity.

Re-read, contemplate, pray and decide! Freewill is your privilege and your responsibility. Use it in wisdom!

From "Handbook for a New Paradigm"

Saturday, August 9, 2008

Self Responsibility

What now can you few do to stem the tide of blackness as it deepens more and more quickly? Shall we recount again all that you already know, and groan and beat upon our breasts as did the prophets of old, and cry out for "God" to save us? Millions are already doing that to a Creator they think ignores their cries for an answer to their prayers. It is in the perception of victims that desire rescuing that they ask, and they cannot receive answers to such prayers. Indeed, only those prayers that ask for empowerment within the framework of Creation can be answered. Do you think that the stars stay up in your heavens by casual request of a god-being? Indeed not! They are there within the design of balance and mathematical laws that underpin All That Is. Man continues in his mindless begging and blocks the very help he desires by being unwilling to participate, except in ways that are contrary to the very Laws that support his unhappy existence. The story of these Laws surrounds us all in what remains of Nature, but in his misery, he blinds himself. The scientific learned ones analyze the components, but not the process of Life within the manifested structures of Life that surround them. The mental analysis of the mind deludes him into an arrogant belief of his superiority over his surroundings, rather than his brotherhood and kinship within it. How can those be helped that are becoming more and more blind to the very process within which they exist?

The victim cannot be rescued, but must pull himself up by his own boot straps and rescue himself by being responsible for his own rescue. Man is made in the essence of his Source. He is a tiny holograph of this Source. A holograph is a tiny fragment of the whole that has the potentiality of projecting the whole from which it came. Though the concept of the holograph has been encompassed in part, it has not been "analyzed" with application to the essence of Life that is within all self-aware beings. It is the refocusing of this fragment toward its Source of existence that determines the degree of the totality of the Source that is brought forth into the known reality of each fragment’s experience.

If you consider the degree of the focus that has brought forth the planet Earth from the fragment of its Source, you can begin to get the picture. Look at the magnificence of the human body that is the vehicle of your experience here. A vehicle capable of housing a self-awareness that can contemplate its Source if it but will, because that Source contemplates itself and, in so doing, fragments Itself so that it can further contemplate Itself through manifestation of experience. Within it, is the freewill to do this. Since freewill is the vehicle for this contemplation, then it is manifest within each holographic fragment. This freewill allows for all experience within a further enhancement of this Self-contemplation process. This is the polarity that enables the recognition of that which serves the contemplation process and that which does not, so that the balance of these allows for the completion of each exploration into the return of the fragment that was originally projected to its Source. To follow this process as presented, there is a spiral of understanding as this is contemplated by the mind reading this information. Each fragment returns itself to the Source that projected it. Thus, you are led to understand the framework of the process you are within, for each of you are a holographic fragment of the Source of All That Is in the process of self-contemplation. Ah, panic, you will become as nothing if you follow the path of the return. Indeed not! With each returning phase toward the Source of your entry into experience, your own self-awareness grows, and it becomes greater and greater until you have the absolute potential to being a total equal within the greater Totality of that Source contemplating Itself.

From "Handbook for a New Paradigm"

Monday, December 10, 2007

Real Life

Well, I haven't posted here for a very long time. I guess I just got a little frustrated, a little bored with the whole thing. I mean it takes time to sit and compose this stuff, and there are so many things that come up in a day that I find more interesting. Like when I look outside my window, I see hummingbirds and butterflies flitting about, and their natural joy is so infectious. Or just lying in bed in the morning, listening to the sounds around me that fill the space with noise and yet do not effect my ground of silence. Or the simple tedium of taking out the trash or doing the dishes such that each moment is filled with my effortless attention. But now that I'm sitting here, I think what's the big deal? It's not much different from anything else really.

But that which is "not different" in all activities, is what's REALLY interesting. Because there is the action, perceived by the eyes...movement, or change, occurring over time...and then there's this AWARENESS in the background, just present, witnessing it all. But there's no identification with any of it. And action occurs spontaneously, without effort, because it is absolutely clear what is next. Difficult to explain...

It has nothing to do with spirituality, an ideology, or a belief system. There's just this naturalness to everything, a calm joyous observance, a deep acceptance of what is as it is. There is no need for anything to change or be different. There is little needing to be said or communicated. There is no story to be told.

I am just HERE.

It would be nice if others would join me HERE. Playmates in the exploration of the evolutionary path. Just to see what happens, if anything. Just to see what is possible. It would be fun. It might change the world. It's just an idea that keeps occurring to me. It may be completely meaningless. And I am completely detached from the results. But the idea IS entertaining. In a world that looks more and more like it is going to hell in a hand basket, I still like the idea of humanity waking up from the dream, finding a new way to BE.

Still holding the space for the idea of community, here in Costa Rica. Still seeing it in my mind's eye. An opportunity has arisen that requires a minimum of 10 investors with $100,000 dollars each. This will buy 65 acres on the shores of Lake Arenal, each investor gets 3 acres titled property. We plan to create sustainable community around a silent retreat and healing center. These opportunities come and I have to trust that if it's meant to be, than it shall unfold. I'd say, for someone who's ready to step into the unknown, face the fear and do it anyway, this could be a nice place to land.

In any case, there are always the butterflies and hummingbirds to delight the senses....

Tuesday, May 29, 2007

He Who Hesitates is Lost

Well, there aren't hundreds stampeding to view my site. Am I too radical? How can this be? It's just the truth as I see it, and the possibility of CHANGE. Maybe there are few who really want to change...

I guess people still believe if they pray, chant, meditate, march, and talk enough, the change will take care of itself. Well, it will, in one sense. Whatever will happen, will happen. Maybe Ron Paul will be President and global warming will not cause any problems for the next 100 years (but I'm not holding my breath!) It would be nice to believe we have all the time necessary so we can continue living the lives we've worked so hard to create so far. So much easier to be on automatic, to continue to believe in a God who will save us, to think clicking away at the internet will do some good. I mean, why make waves?

Maybe your life is basically good, and you are relatively content. You are able to pay the bills, you have a little in savings for a rainy day, your children are doing well in school. It's nice to come home, put up your feet, watch your favorite show on TV, pop something in the microwave. Maybe you have a satisfying relationship with someone who likes similar activities. Maybe your sex life is improving. It's just so much easier to not look around too much, not read too much, not be too aware of the rest of the world. Just keep keeping on making the mortgage and car payments, paying taxes, accumulating more gadgets to make life easier. I mean isn't that what it's all about?

You look around you and everyone else is pretty much doing the same thing. It's interesting to get together and talk about the insanity that is happening, how Joe can't sell his house and it may go into foreclosure, how Bill lost his job at the Company, how the price of gas keeps going higher, how you might not be able to send Billy to soccer camp this year. You join in the communal venting for a bit, then go home to continue the routine. Maybe you only put a dollar in the collection plate instead of five, but you have hope. You have faith that someone will fix it.

The Truth is that there is no one "out there", no separate something that will save you. YOU are the answer you seek, YOU are the one to make the changes. That undercurrent of doubt and fear you keep hidden is trying to get your attention so that you will ACT. The wolf is at YOUR door, and ignoring that fact will not keep you from getting eaten.

The engineers in New Orleans knew for many years that the levees were inadequate, but failed to act on that knowledge. The cost has been immeasurable, so many freedoms and lives lost, so much profiteering taking place. Humans have a predilection for procrastination, but remember, he who hesitates is lost. Do you think it can't happen again, that it can't happen to you?

Your government has sold you down the river. It only cares about itself and its agenda for expansion. Those with money get the life rafts while the rest go down. It is beyond borders, it is a global corporate elite calling the shots, and they don't care if they have to sacrifice America to get what they want. The game is World Domination, and our Constitutionally protected sovereign rights are the last hurdle. They are evaporating as we speak. What to do, what to do....?

I can't really answer that question. YOU know what you need to do, the question is will you do it? And I'm not talking about all the ways you distract yourself so you don't have to deal with the Truth another day. Part of the problem is the numerous ways we can distract ourselves - drinking, smoking, shopping, TV, working, sex, etc. Is any of it helping to alleviate your growing anxiety? Wake up, stop dreaming, grieve for your broken illusions if you must, and then get moving.

Sunday, May 20, 2007

A PROPOSAL...


There are dozens of organizations and web sites that discuss the possibility of awakening in this life time as a precursor to any real change occurring on the planet at large and most of them I agree with. However, few offer any real practical way to create a lifestyle that supports this on an ongoing basis. There are definitely some retreats that give one a taste of what it is to be awake and I highly recommend them (please check out some of my links), but most people come away finding themselves still immersed in a lifestyle not really conducive to growing further in embodying this awakening. It is to those who are seeking a viable way to incorporate their realization into a mode of action that I offer this proposal.

I have done much research concerning patterns of earth change and its impact on the countries of the world, and presently have chosen Costa Rica as one of the places where we can implement our plan of creating a haven for awakening individuals that is self-supporting. We aim to attract investors who wish to remove themselves from the insanity being played out by the industrial/military/pharmaceutical corporations wishing to dominate our lives, and want to support awakening consciousness while still making a living. We believe that if only a handful step forward with the initial financial help needed, we can make it worth their while by offering an ongoing income plus land upon which to build a home, making it an investment that will increase in equity and help others who seek to deepen in this process of awakening.

Consider the many ways your money is now spent that works only to continue a system that is obviously unsustainable and no longer serves anyone. One only has to look at the world stage, with its wars of aggression, trade agreements that end up impoverishing nations, and corporate greed, to see how out of control things are. Though there are precious few ways in the physical realm to completely step away from what is currently in place, it is plausible to consider that one can reduce one's reliance on governments or other authorities whose aim is to eliminate sovereignty and keep us compliant and enslaved to their agendas. But governments are working overtime to close any loopholes that allow us to live freely, so time is of the essence. The escalating fear that has most people in denial is gathering strength; the outcome of this is unknown, but it does not bode well for human beings as a whole. So I am calling out to men and women of integrity to put your money where your mouth is and make an uncompromising decision to to jump from the sinking ship of life as we once believed it, and to create something new and life-promoting.

We are drafting an executive summary that explains thoroughly how the money will be used to create a center for awakening that offers silent retreats, as well as an opportunity to continue to live and work together to help this continue. Investors will receive a share of profits plus land to develop. We will create organically a community that has only one agenda: to assist in the awakening of consciousness by allowing those who are ready to not only step out of the box, but to stay out of the box. We do not promote any complicated processes, ideologies, or particular individuals. We do realize that there is one way most conducive to the awakening that caters to all individuals, and that is silent sitting. It cuts through all the myriad concepts and puts one immediately in touch with the thought processes that have one hypnotized and unrealized. And by continued sitting, these are seen for what they are, and one has the possibility of release.

I know there are many that feel stymied as to what they can actually do to help create change. They browse the internet daily, signing up for newsletters and clicking on petitions. They do their best to buy organic and live more simply. They gather at places of worship, in each others homes, and out on the streets to discuss, organize, and protest. But still the big wheels are turning. And they turn because still we buy gas for our SUV's, still we pay taxes, still we sign driver's and marriage licenses, still we go to work for the corporate machine. Our daily lives are monopolized by the very system we are raging against. This is an inner conflict that can only be resolved by walking one's talk. There's no getting away from it in even the minutest detail of our lives. It's no different than surrendering to an abusive relationship, where you are getting beat up every day, but continue to live as if everything were OK, putting on makeup to hide the bruises.

The Truth is difficult to bear at first. We go through stages with it. Denial is the first stage, but one can't stop there. Anger is next, the body's signal that an injustice is perceived, but ineffective anger often turns into depression unless there is an outlet for action. To act effectively is important, but it is to our own hearts we must turn to discover the way. No one else has the answers you seek, or knows the secrets you keep. You are the one to be the change you want in the world.

So if your path has you feeling more beat up than free, consider an alternative. Dialogue with us, explore the possibility, see if it fits. The heart will leap towards freedom, if given a chance to. How many more times will you plow it over with excuses? I'm sorry I can't soften this message with lovey-dovey, airy-fairy, New Age-speak, but that is just more pablum for the masses. This is only for those warriors who have the courage to SEE what is True and ACT on it.

Friday, May 18, 2007

Riding the Merry-go-Round....

This is how it looks to me...

Life as we know it in the human thought-realm matrix is like being on a merry-go-round. It looks like there is movement, the horses go up and down, and from a child-like perspective, it actually seems as if one is getting somewhere. But that's only if you're on the merry-go-round. For someone standing on the ground, it is obvious that the merry-go-round is just revolving in a small, circular orbit. Now for those riding the merry-go-round, there can be endless discussion on whether or not the merry-go-round has any purpose, if it is functioning correctly, the rules and regulations regarding being on the merry-go-round, who gets to ride the horses, lions, tigers, bears, or whatever, ad nauseum. Some will complain about the revolution speed, the need for an upgrade, new leadership (a merry-go-round czar?) or whatever. Some may even say we should stop the merry-go-round and get off, a very progressive stance indeed. But in the meantime, the merry-go-round continues to turn in it's little circle, around and around and around....

Now while you're riding the merry-go-round, you may notice others who are standing on the ground as you whizz by. They wave to you, indicating the possibility of you joining them on the ground, but you move by so fast you can't quite catch what they're saying. Maybe you'll catch "If you want to get off the merry-go-round..." before you've already passed them by on another revolution. Maybe you'll hear the words "...you've got to jump!" So you turn to your fellow riders to point out that there are some who are not on the merry-go-round, and isn't that interesting, and maybe jumping is an option, but very often it leads to endless discussions about the rationale of jumping, how is it accomplished, the possibility of injury, etc., etc. More questions beget more answers beget more discussions and on and on the merry-go-round turns, a thousand viewpoints and opinions endlessly expressed. It is comfortably beguiling in its familiarity, its hypnotic sameness, its apparent safety. It reinforces inaction by settling for ongoing debate between this, that, and the other.

The questions are unsolvable as long as you remain on the merry-go-round. That's why it's called a merry-go-round, it never really goes anywhere. There's only ONE way to get off a merry-go-round, my friend, and that is to JUMP!

Remember the first time you went off the high dive, how long it took you to get even to the bottom of the stairs because that first step was a commitment you couldn't back down from? And then standing up there, looking down at the water, how far it seemed, crazy even? And you were scared, whether you showed it or not, perhaps even terrified, because you could, after all, get killed? But in the end, when you got past all the debate and fear and actually JUMPED it was the most exhilarating, amazing, FREEING experience, and you wanted to do it again and again?

It is the same every time we approach the unknown. For some reason, as we get older, we tend to veer away from taking chances with our lives, unlike the toddler, who though falling every second step, is determined to discover walking. When very young, we were unconcerned about the opinions of others; the imperative to be mobile was paramount and there was no doubt in our ability to master it. But also back then we were undistracted, focussed, undeterred. Then came television...and round and round we go...

It is easy to ride a merry-go-round, lulled into a false sense of momentum and change. On the merry-go-round, you can change your seat and believe you have done something radical. But you might as well finally admit that you are on a merry-go-round and you're getting nowhere. There are no saviors on the merry-go-round, because once you're on it's more of the same. A pretty costume and innovative delivery doesn't change the fact that you're still on the merry-go-round.

So you better be clear...do you want to keep riding or do you want to get off?

Sunday, May 13, 2007

Happy Mojsha's Day!

My 19 year old son, Sean, calls me Mojsha, and has for several years now, his term for "Mother". I like the sound of it. It is a new word for what I am that has no previous connotations attached to it, so its possible meanings are endless. There is affection implied in it, a shared story that begins with birth and lingers, stitching together the memories that define the content of a life.

Sean is the third of four brothers. They are my teachers and some of my most favorite people. We always laughed well together, a good thing, especially since I fell down a lot while I was still raising them. Their patience has taught me patience. They offer me a natural forgiveness that erases the error because, according to them, it was never committed. Acceptance, as is. Now it bounces back and forth between us without question.

Nathan, the oldest, is now a Daddy himself. His son, my GRANDSON, is a chubby little Buddha boy, a pure expression of life, slowly assimilating himself into the pack, learning the basics of life in the human realm, the realm of thought and emotion. Without discrimination, he absorbs all that is available, unable to imagine that others don't share his expanded viewpoint of "Not Two".

I worry a bit about the world he has been born into. It's a little crazy here at the moment. But he so embraces the moment, with full abandon, and I see in him an unconcern as to how long the moment may last. Life moves and has its way with us, beyond concepts of space and time, and the outcome is unknown. The "lesser" creatures are naturally attuned to this, only humans have created a dream world they succumb to and get lost in. But we have the capacity to AWAKEN and return to our natural functioning, as representatives of LIFE experiencing itself through the human form. I am fortunate my sons are aware of this.

I am most glad that I gave my sons the gift of home birth. Three of my sons were born breech, and I am certain in a hospital environment, they would have insisted on emergency C-sections, which in my case would have been unnecessary. I learned so much from labor, surrendering to the force of creation as it blew strong and hard through this body. What a powerful thing to be awake to, this amazing ability of the female body to replicate life. it is witnessing and participating in evolution itself. How cool is that!

All of my sons are artists. Nathan is a model and photographer. Orion, now 23, is studying cinematography at college. Sean is a street musician, painter, performance artist extraordinaire, and definitely outside the box. Jeremy, the youngest, is 12. He is still sorting it out, still learning the ropes. He has spent a little too much time in public "schooling" for my taste, but he is coming to Costa Rica this summer, and maybe the programming will fade away in the jungle.

Mojshahood has been the ultimate adventure for me, I have loved every second of it. Just watching another human being unfold, sharing itself with itself. Life is awesome in it's simplicity.

Thanks boys, for sharing it with me.