This blog is only about awakening, nothing more, nothing less. Anything that will contribute to the possibility of complete liberation from the dream, or from the mass hallucination of humanity, or from the mental matrix, or from the false self, or from the lie, or any other label you want to call it, is welcome here. The key words are FREEDOM and JOY. Sometimes I think this reporting about stuff just keeps the false story going and only adds to the insanity, and there's too much of that already. But something is trying to pry the lid off still, something awaits to be seen. We are all in this boat together, so here we go......have fun!


Tuesday, May 29, 2007

He Who Hesitates is Lost

Well, there aren't hundreds stampeding to view my site. Am I too radical? How can this be? It's just the truth as I see it, and the possibility of CHANGE. Maybe there are few who really want to change...

I guess people still believe if they pray, chant, meditate, march, and talk enough, the change will take care of itself. Well, it will, in one sense. Whatever will happen, will happen. Maybe Ron Paul will be President and global warming will not cause any problems for the next 100 years (but I'm not holding my breath!) It would be nice to believe we have all the time necessary so we can continue living the lives we've worked so hard to create so far. So much easier to be on automatic, to continue to believe in a God who will save us, to think clicking away at the internet will do some good. I mean, why make waves?

Maybe your life is basically good, and you are relatively content. You are able to pay the bills, you have a little in savings for a rainy day, your children are doing well in school. It's nice to come home, put up your feet, watch your favorite show on TV, pop something in the microwave. Maybe you have a satisfying relationship with someone who likes similar activities. Maybe your sex life is improving. It's just so much easier to not look around too much, not read too much, not be too aware of the rest of the world. Just keep keeping on making the mortgage and car payments, paying taxes, accumulating more gadgets to make life easier. I mean isn't that what it's all about?

You look around you and everyone else is pretty much doing the same thing. It's interesting to get together and talk about the insanity that is happening, how Joe can't sell his house and it may go into foreclosure, how Bill lost his job at the Company, how the price of gas keeps going higher, how you might not be able to send Billy to soccer camp this year. You join in the communal venting for a bit, then go home to continue the routine. Maybe you only put a dollar in the collection plate instead of five, but you have hope. You have faith that someone will fix it.

The Truth is that there is no one "out there", no separate something that will save you. YOU are the answer you seek, YOU are the one to make the changes. That undercurrent of doubt and fear you keep hidden is trying to get your attention so that you will ACT. The wolf is at YOUR door, and ignoring that fact will not keep you from getting eaten.

The engineers in New Orleans knew for many years that the levees were inadequate, but failed to act on that knowledge. The cost has been immeasurable, so many freedoms and lives lost, so much profiteering taking place. Humans have a predilection for procrastination, but remember, he who hesitates is lost. Do you think it can't happen again, that it can't happen to you?

Your government has sold you down the river. It only cares about itself and its agenda for expansion. Those with money get the life rafts while the rest go down. It is beyond borders, it is a global corporate elite calling the shots, and they don't care if they have to sacrifice America to get what they want. The game is World Domination, and our Constitutionally protected sovereign rights are the last hurdle. They are evaporating as we speak. What to do, what to do....?

I can't really answer that question. YOU know what you need to do, the question is will you do it? And I'm not talking about all the ways you distract yourself so you don't have to deal with the Truth another day. Part of the problem is the numerous ways we can distract ourselves - drinking, smoking, shopping, TV, working, sex, etc. Is any of it helping to alleviate your growing anxiety? Wake up, stop dreaming, grieve for your broken illusions if you must, and then get moving.

Sunday, May 20, 2007

A PROPOSAL...


There are dozens of organizations and web sites that discuss the possibility of awakening in this life time as a precursor to any real change occurring on the planet at large and most of them I agree with. However, few offer any real practical way to create a lifestyle that supports this on an ongoing basis. There are definitely some retreats that give one a taste of what it is to be awake and I highly recommend them (please check out some of my links), but most people come away finding themselves still immersed in a lifestyle not really conducive to growing further in embodying this awakening. It is to those who are seeking a viable way to incorporate their realization into a mode of action that I offer this proposal.

I have done much research concerning patterns of earth change and its impact on the countries of the world, and presently have chosen Costa Rica as one of the places where we can implement our plan of creating a haven for awakening individuals that is self-supporting. We aim to attract investors who wish to remove themselves from the insanity being played out by the industrial/military/pharmaceutical corporations wishing to dominate our lives, and want to support awakening consciousness while still making a living. We believe that if only a handful step forward with the initial financial help needed, we can make it worth their while by offering an ongoing income plus land upon which to build a home, making it an investment that will increase in equity and help others who seek to deepen in this process of awakening.

Consider the many ways your money is now spent that works only to continue a system that is obviously unsustainable and no longer serves anyone. One only has to look at the world stage, with its wars of aggression, trade agreements that end up impoverishing nations, and corporate greed, to see how out of control things are. Though there are precious few ways in the physical realm to completely step away from what is currently in place, it is plausible to consider that one can reduce one's reliance on governments or other authorities whose aim is to eliminate sovereignty and keep us compliant and enslaved to their agendas. But governments are working overtime to close any loopholes that allow us to live freely, so time is of the essence. The escalating fear that has most people in denial is gathering strength; the outcome of this is unknown, but it does not bode well for human beings as a whole. So I am calling out to men and women of integrity to put your money where your mouth is and make an uncompromising decision to to jump from the sinking ship of life as we once believed it, and to create something new and life-promoting.

We are drafting an executive summary that explains thoroughly how the money will be used to create a center for awakening that offers silent retreats, as well as an opportunity to continue to live and work together to help this continue. Investors will receive a share of profits plus land to develop. We will create organically a community that has only one agenda: to assist in the awakening of consciousness by allowing those who are ready to not only step out of the box, but to stay out of the box. We do not promote any complicated processes, ideologies, or particular individuals. We do realize that there is one way most conducive to the awakening that caters to all individuals, and that is silent sitting. It cuts through all the myriad concepts and puts one immediately in touch with the thought processes that have one hypnotized and unrealized. And by continued sitting, these are seen for what they are, and one has the possibility of release.

I know there are many that feel stymied as to what they can actually do to help create change. They browse the internet daily, signing up for newsletters and clicking on petitions. They do their best to buy organic and live more simply. They gather at places of worship, in each others homes, and out on the streets to discuss, organize, and protest. But still the big wheels are turning. And they turn because still we buy gas for our SUV's, still we pay taxes, still we sign driver's and marriage licenses, still we go to work for the corporate machine. Our daily lives are monopolized by the very system we are raging against. This is an inner conflict that can only be resolved by walking one's talk. There's no getting away from it in even the minutest detail of our lives. It's no different than surrendering to an abusive relationship, where you are getting beat up every day, but continue to live as if everything were OK, putting on makeup to hide the bruises.

The Truth is difficult to bear at first. We go through stages with it. Denial is the first stage, but one can't stop there. Anger is next, the body's signal that an injustice is perceived, but ineffective anger often turns into depression unless there is an outlet for action. To act effectively is important, but it is to our own hearts we must turn to discover the way. No one else has the answers you seek, or knows the secrets you keep. You are the one to be the change you want in the world.

So if your path has you feeling more beat up than free, consider an alternative. Dialogue with us, explore the possibility, see if it fits. The heart will leap towards freedom, if given a chance to. How many more times will you plow it over with excuses? I'm sorry I can't soften this message with lovey-dovey, airy-fairy, New Age-speak, but that is just more pablum for the masses. This is only for those warriors who have the courage to SEE what is True and ACT on it.

Friday, May 18, 2007

Riding the Merry-go-Round....

This is how it looks to me...

Life as we know it in the human thought-realm matrix is like being on a merry-go-round. It looks like there is movement, the horses go up and down, and from a child-like perspective, it actually seems as if one is getting somewhere. But that's only if you're on the merry-go-round. For someone standing on the ground, it is obvious that the merry-go-round is just revolving in a small, circular orbit. Now for those riding the merry-go-round, there can be endless discussion on whether or not the merry-go-round has any purpose, if it is functioning correctly, the rules and regulations regarding being on the merry-go-round, who gets to ride the horses, lions, tigers, bears, or whatever, ad nauseum. Some will complain about the revolution speed, the need for an upgrade, new leadership (a merry-go-round czar?) or whatever. Some may even say we should stop the merry-go-round and get off, a very progressive stance indeed. But in the meantime, the merry-go-round continues to turn in it's little circle, around and around and around....

Now while you're riding the merry-go-round, you may notice others who are standing on the ground as you whizz by. They wave to you, indicating the possibility of you joining them on the ground, but you move by so fast you can't quite catch what they're saying. Maybe you'll catch "If you want to get off the merry-go-round..." before you've already passed them by on another revolution. Maybe you'll hear the words "...you've got to jump!" So you turn to your fellow riders to point out that there are some who are not on the merry-go-round, and isn't that interesting, and maybe jumping is an option, but very often it leads to endless discussions about the rationale of jumping, how is it accomplished, the possibility of injury, etc., etc. More questions beget more answers beget more discussions and on and on the merry-go-round turns, a thousand viewpoints and opinions endlessly expressed. It is comfortably beguiling in its familiarity, its hypnotic sameness, its apparent safety. It reinforces inaction by settling for ongoing debate between this, that, and the other.

The questions are unsolvable as long as you remain on the merry-go-round. That's why it's called a merry-go-round, it never really goes anywhere. There's only ONE way to get off a merry-go-round, my friend, and that is to JUMP!

Remember the first time you went off the high dive, how long it took you to get even to the bottom of the stairs because that first step was a commitment you couldn't back down from? And then standing up there, looking down at the water, how far it seemed, crazy even? And you were scared, whether you showed it or not, perhaps even terrified, because you could, after all, get killed? But in the end, when you got past all the debate and fear and actually JUMPED it was the most exhilarating, amazing, FREEING experience, and you wanted to do it again and again?

It is the same every time we approach the unknown. For some reason, as we get older, we tend to veer away from taking chances with our lives, unlike the toddler, who though falling every second step, is determined to discover walking. When very young, we were unconcerned about the opinions of others; the imperative to be mobile was paramount and there was no doubt in our ability to master it. But also back then we were undistracted, focussed, undeterred. Then came television...and round and round we go...

It is easy to ride a merry-go-round, lulled into a false sense of momentum and change. On the merry-go-round, you can change your seat and believe you have done something radical. But you might as well finally admit that you are on a merry-go-round and you're getting nowhere. There are no saviors on the merry-go-round, because once you're on it's more of the same. A pretty costume and innovative delivery doesn't change the fact that you're still on the merry-go-round.

So you better be clear...do you want to keep riding or do you want to get off?

Sunday, May 13, 2007

Happy Mojsha's Day!

My 19 year old son, Sean, calls me Mojsha, and has for several years now, his term for "Mother". I like the sound of it. It is a new word for what I am that has no previous connotations attached to it, so its possible meanings are endless. There is affection implied in it, a shared story that begins with birth and lingers, stitching together the memories that define the content of a life.

Sean is the third of four brothers. They are my teachers and some of my most favorite people. We always laughed well together, a good thing, especially since I fell down a lot while I was still raising them. Their patience has taught me patience. They offer me a natural forgiveness that erases the error because, according to them, it was never committed. Acceptance, as is. Now it bounces back and forth between us without question.

Nathan, the oldest, is now a Daddy himself. His son, my GRANDSON, is a chubby little Buddha boy, a pure expression of life, slowly assimilating himself into the pack, learning the basics of life in the human realm, the realm of thought and emotion. Without discrimination, he absorbs all that is available, unable to imagine that others don't share his expanded viewpoint of "Not Two".

I worry a bit about the world he has been born into. It's a little crazy here at the moment. But he so embraces the moment, with full abandon, and I see in him an unconcern as to how long the moment may last. Life moves and has its way with us, beyond concepts of space and time, and the outcome is unknown. The "lesser" creatures are naturally attuned to this, only humans have created a dream world they succumb to and get lost in. But we have the capacity to AWAKEN and return to our natural functioning, as representatives of LIFE experiencing itself through the human form. I am fortunate my sons are aware of this.

I am most glad that I gave my sons the gift of home birth. Three of my sons were born breech, and I am certain in a hospital environment, they would have insisted on emergency C-sections, which in my case would have been unnecessary. I learned so much from labor, surrendering to the force of creation as it blew strong and hard through this body. What a powerful thing to be awake to, this amazing ability of the female body to replicate life. it is witnessing and participating in evolution itself. How cool is that!

All of my sons are artists. Nathan is a model and photographer. Orion, now 23, is studying cinematography at college. Sean is a street musician, painter, performance artist extraordinaire, and definitely outside the box. Jeremy, the youngest, is 12. He is still sorting it out, still learning the ropes. He has spent a little too much time in public "schooling" for my taste, but he is coming to Costa Rica this summer, and maybe the programming will fade away in the jungle.

Mojshahood has been the ultimate adventure for me, I have loved every second of it. Just watching another human being unfold, sharing itself with itself. Life is awesome in it's simplicity.

Thanks boys, for sharing it with me.

Tuesday, May 8, 2007

I KNOW NOTHING...

Nothing...nada...zip!

I have no solutions for the tangled web we find ourselves in. It has been going on so long, this crazy social experiment designed to entrench us in "acceptable" ways of thinking and being, that to try and change it from within the "Matrix" is virtually impossible. Every so-called solution leads to further entrapment, a continuation of the game. As long as one is in the body, and especially if one is identified with the body, one still needs to eat, sleep, and shit. Survival itself is dependent on one's ability to subscribe to the limitations of the game. Even if you choose a role whose purpose is to expose the folly, you're still playing.

If you are struggling to find an answer, you are fighting what IS, and it loops you back into being someone who struggles. If you are a spiritual seeker, you are caught attempting to Become something other than what you already are, and again you end up back at the beginning. Escaping what IS is impossible, you are here on the playing field until you die. All you can do is OPEN YOUR EYES, not these little eyes that register the miniscule amount of light frequency we call Reality (ha, ha), but the one "I" that registers the whole picture. It comes back to WHAT and WHOM you are identified with, what you give your attention and awareness to, and how you act on what you discover from your willingness to SEE.

Most live out of REACTION to the events of their lives, because they draw their information from the KNOWN, or the PAST, not what actually IS. As we are programmed to emotionally accept or reject information according to what feels good or bad, we filter out that which challenges the KNOWN. What is called human nature is basically what we have been programmed to believe, NOT what is true. And a great deal of this programming tells us we are our bodies, thoughts and beliefs, not beings who have chosen to identify with such out of a simple misunderstanding.

But how to fix it? There is no fix WITHIN THE GAME! Only a continuation of the game...and on it goes, the big wheels grinding away.

So...I choose Nothing. Nothing to do, nowhere to go, nothing to be...at least as previously defined. Out of the box, and who knows? I have no predictions, no solutions, if want some there are plenty who will sell you water by the river. Just STOP IT! Oh shit, what will happen, everything will fall apart! Ha, too late, it's already here! Get out of your mind, out of your own way, there's no one who can save you, only YOU can choose!

But....you will wake up in the morning, and... Will you do as you're told, get dressed in the latest fashions, go to a job that stresses you out while making the CEO rich beyond imagining, keep paying the mortgage, the car payments, try to get the kids to Disneyland this year, etc., all the while pretending you've got it together because you can intelligently discuss the neo-con agenda? What would happen if you didn't?

Don't know and don't want to know....now THAT"S the adventure of a lifetime!

Monday, May 7, 2007

Is There Anybody Out There?

Ever since I was a little girl, I have been in wonderment at the craziness of human beings. I never could understand how they could subscribe to the highest ideologies on the one hand and yet indulge in such horrid behavior towards each other. It was so hypocritical, so bizarre, and so obviously detrimental. Our society is sick, neurotic, and completely unnatural when it comes to just being able to live a happy, free life. How did we get so off the track?

Over the years I have been studying the alternative media for clues and there is a plethora of information available on the internet describing how our so-called leaders have sold us out to corporate interests through the use of the most insidious of mind control techniques. Check out www.davidicke.com or www.commondreams.org for examples.

As soon as we are born, the programming begins. Our parents, already having been completely absorbed into the corporate-think, begin the process by telling us what they expect from "good" little "boys" and "girls". We watch TV and find out more about what we are expected to believe is important, how we are meant to fit into the system. It's all about consuming the products that the corporations tell us are fundamental to the good life we are supposed to want, and because everyone around us is plugged into the same cycle of working to acquire more of these objects of desire, we go along with it like sheep. The so-called educational system only teaches us to be good little worker bees and tax payers, not to think for ourselves. Even if we are unsatisfied enough to seek alternatives, they are just more of the same dressed up in prettier clothes.

I have had some pretty amazing experiences of jumping so far out of the system through using meditation, drugs, and alternative lifestyles that re-integration is no longer a possibility for me. But I am still in this human body and must somehow find a way to continue, and there are precious few options that have any attraction for me any longer. I can't bring myself to be a part of the machine that poses as the American Dream - it is a sham that is falling apart at the seams. And I can't be a part of any group that is in direct opposition to it either as it merely feeds the problem. The closest activities to any basic sanity are those labeled "spiritual", but that has also become a marketplace filled with personality cults, endless, and expensive, processes and programs, and maybe in the future, if you do it the "right" way, some possibility of enlightenment.

Now this enlightenment "business" really has started to bug me, because most of the time it is couched in such esoteric terms that no one understands at all how it is accomplished. I've met people who have been doing yoga, meditation, positive thinking, chanting, oming for world peace, and a kazillion other practices supposedly designed to bring one to self-realization. But very few actually reach this goal. I find that this striving to "get" somewhere is just another bottomless pit that is no different than any other material goal. Calling it "spiritual" just puts it on some lofty plane where you get to be more cool than those who are merely striving for more materialistic gain. But it is really the same old story that puts you right back where you started as far as being programmed to believe in some glorious future that will come about if you work hard enough. It is Bogus!

As long as you seek for your happiness in some outward activity or manifestation, it will not last. All outer phenomenon is transient at best. Change is the nature of things in this 3-dimensional universe. The question is: What is it that does NOT change, that is eternally present, that hums in the background as we scurry around trying to accumulate more "stuff"? How can we just rest within the great Isness of Life itself?

Well, the meditators start off on the right track, since it is in SILENCE that one can actually make contact with one's eternal nature. But you can't compartmentalize the infinite, can't fit it into the finite world. Many try to do so, I mean look at all the books that have been written and are gobbled up by the disillusioned in hopes of getting a taste. But it is just taking up room on your bookshelf and you are still unsatisfied. This all works to the advantage of a social system that wants you to be dissatisfied, always wanting MORE and MORE. There's only one way to step off this endless treadmill. And that is to JUST STOP IT. Stop participating in the hallucination. Take the big plunge!

In Zen, you go to a sesshin and sit, sit, sit. You sit in silence until it dawns on you that YOU are what you seek, YOU are the ONE. And then you sit some more. Silent sitting takes you out of the loop and allows the Truth to reveal itself, and if it really catches you, you would rather sit than just about anything else. And there comes a point when this fabrication, this story that you've been telling yourself about yourself falls away, and you are just HERE, present, much like a child who is happy just watching the grass grow. And for most this engenders great fear as if one was facing one's death. Because all you have known is what you have been conditioned to believe by society, and you discover it has NOTHING TO DO WITH WHO YOU ARE, it begins to fall away. This is always the point that is the greatest challenge to people, and this is when they often get up and run out of the room. But all the masters that ever were went through this dark night, this death of the conditioned SELF, before they woke up and achieved complete liberation. That's what LIBERATION is, freedom from ALL the conditioning and programming, right down to even thinking you're male or female. And the mind fights it because it looks like death. Real death is the same thing and we will all face it one day. But if you want liberation in this lifetime, there's only one way. Walk away from the dream long enough and JUST STOP.

Since I still am in the body, and need to feed, clothe, and shelter it, and because I left behind any desire to participate in the current nightmare playing out on the international stage, I have minimized my physical needs such that I have no debt, no obligations to others, no appointments to keep, no clock to watch. Just simple Being is enough. Yet the idea still comes...are there others, like me, who would create a sane life away from the maelstrom, where Truth can flower, and new, original ideas flourish? Is there anybody out there?

Bottom line is I would like to create a retreat center here in Costa Rica where the focus is on living an awakened life, where serious folks can actually STOP being a part of the growing insanity. This world is changing so fast, the earth changes are not going to get any better, and it's time to find a quiet place to rest. This isn't some airy, fairy lah-de-dah new age loopy groupy sales pitch, just a real possibility to step off the treadmill, hang with some cool folks who have no agenda whatsoever, grow some bananas, mangoes, and papayas, and let the rest of the world finish playing out this madness so we can start anew. Or maybe we'll be in paradise watching it all fall apart around us. In that case, I'll raise a glass to Life's amazing persistence that there IS a way to evolve and awaken, even if mankind has screwed it up once again.

If this post has you the least bit interested, drop us a line at iamgodsjoy@yahoo.com . We would love to hear from you.

Sunday, May 6, 2007

Be the Change You Want to See

Dear Friends,

If you think any positive action for change is going to come out of the realm of politics, you are mistaken. It will be the same old smokescreen until doomsday, same old tired discussions, same old problem-reaction-solution scenarios designed to placate the masses.

If you are seeing the truth about what is occurring on this planet, in whatever sphere (political, corporate, economic, climate change), than the only thing is to take individual action such that there is no longer a psychological split between what is true and what you would like to believe is true. We can’t keep backing up media lies by sitting on our hands waiting for another Daddy to come along and make everything OK. No guru, no politician, no organization, no belief system of any kind is going to change the simple fact that only those individuals who see what’s up and act outside of what is generally acceptable, taking a flying leap into the unknown and attempting to live what they know is true, are going to survive this disaster known as the human experiment.

We are designed to evolve, just like all species, but the programming we receive from cradle to grave has us all thinking in looping video/audio tracks that spell out how we are to live in society, and it is enslavement to being a cog in the machine. How to get out of the machine? How to no longer be a mind-numbed robot? It’s a radical step that’s needed, and it is too scary for most to contemplate. It brings up too much fear for most. But every great teacher has said that though we live in the world, we must not be it’s slave, so gotta step out of the box and be free.

My partner an I are attempting to contact like-minded others who are ready to act, whose highest priority is to be the awakening necessary. And to ride out the current changes, which are coming no matter what at this stage, survival is key. So where?

After much research it seems that the most severe cataclysms are occurring in the areas towards the poles. New Zealand and Australia, Indonesia and Japan, India and China, all are experiencing drought, earthquakes, floods, and all types of extreme weather. In the states, it’s either water shortages and hurricanes in the south and west, or frigid cold, blizzards, and tornadoes across the mid-west and east. And it’s getting more extreme.

Though there seems no areas immune to the possibility of radiation from increasing solar flares, it seems mid to high elevations in tropical climates with old growth rain forest near the equator are the best bets. So we are looking for land in the highlands of Costa Rica and want to attract others who are ready to hunker down and build a sustainable life. We intend for the focus to be awakening, using silent sitting as the only reasonable method. We do not have a teaching, just an understanding that only through silence can the original blueprint of a real human being come forth from the veil of sleep created by the decades of programming by our social systems and governments. Unless one gets a glimpse outside the program (some liken it to the Matrix as illustrated in the movie by the same name), one will think, speak, and act within it’s influence, not realizing how pervasive it is in the consciousness of mankind as a whole. Until the bubble pops, the illusion is perceived as real and governs our course of action.

Ready to pop the bubble? We figure if just a handful of people come forward who are serious about getting out of the system, we can pool our energies and create a model of what is possible for others. So if you are REALLY serious about taking action, contact us at iamgodsjoy@yahoo.com, sell your objects, and get your buns down here to Costa Rica. Time is of the essence.