9 Ego Defense Mechanisms That Kill Self-Growth

 

September 14th, 2020

By Mateo Sol

Guest writer for Wake Up World

You’re hopeless, useless, burdensome. Nothing will ever go well, everyone is always better than you, you’ll never be perfect. You want to be liked, but you’re unlovable, and a failure at life. Sound familiar?

To the majority of people this language does. Mental traps – or ego defense mechanisms – serve as the rusty cogs that continue the mechanic cycles of pain, toxic shame, and hopelessness within us. In many instances, they are so deeply ingrained in the mind, that we are completely oblivious of their existence.

The most important thing to realize about these cognitive errors is that they’re maladaptive ways of dealing with the world and the self. In fact, living in the world of mental distortions is like living a lie. Your perception is constantly tainted with melancholic negativity that brings forth unrealistic and untruthful thoughts.

But it’s not your fault and there is a way of moving through this feeling of stuckness.

In this article, my goal is to help you identify, reframe, and deprogram these ego defense mechanisms. Doing so will allow you to experience more inner peace, self-love, groundedness, trust, and spiritual connectedness with life.

What Are Ego Defense Mechanisms?

Ego defense mechanisms (or mental traps) are psychological strategies that help us deal with the uncertainty and ambiguity of existence. When a painful truth or reality is too much for us to bear, you can be sure that an ego defense mechanism will jump in to save you. Think of it like a knight in shining armor that protects your sanity. The only difficulty is that, often, this inner knight is unwilling to let go of its desire to protect us due to fear and trauma. When this happens, we are left with old, outdated, and dysfunctional inner programming that runs on repeat, wreaking havoc in our lives.

17 Signs Your Ego Defenses Are Harming You

Pay attention to the following signs:

• You suffer from low self-esteem and self-worth
• You constantly get into fights with people
• You feel on-edge around others for no apparent reason
• You often feel like an innocent victim
• You feel like the world is against you
• You see the world in black and white (“good or bad,” “right or wrong,” “friend or enemy,” “us or them,” etc.)
• You tend to jump to extremes in relationships, i.e., one day you love your partner, the next you hate them
• You tend to be critical and sarcastic
• You rarely accept blame (because you “haven’t done anything wrong”)
• You are a cynic but at the same time an idealist
• You have high expectations for yourself and others
• You feel dissatisfied with yourself/life a lot of the time
• You have an addictive personality
• You tend to be obsessive
• You overthink everything
• You often feel like a phony/fake
• You feel disconnected from your true self and life

How many signs can you relate to?

9 Basic Ego Defense Mechanisms

The nine basic ego defense mechanisms are:

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