We're All In This Together

by Ryan Moore

I need to know you're with me

It seems a simple choice -
succumb, or overcome?
Succeed, or fail?
Winner, or loser?

The english language is riddled with dualities,
each one of them cheapening
the fascinating variegated integrity
of creation itself.
(I.E., us.)

Many of us are force-fed these notions
and our mind, fulfilling it's function, digests them -
integrating yes/no understandings into our identity.

Are you fat, or skinny?
Stupid, or smart?
If you're not pretty you must be ugly,
and if you're not a 'have'
you must be one of the unfortunate 'have-nots.'

Are you good at dancing? Bad at sports? Can you sing, or not?
Do you have your shit together, or don't you?

Are you living up to your potential? Yes or no?

Think positive!
(Don't think negative, don't think negative, don't think negative.)

Be courageous!
(But what if I'm afraid?)

Happy people are successful!
(Great, now I'm sad and unsuccessful.)

Truth is not an either/or,
truth is terrifyingly brave
and grievously joyful.

Life is radiantly monstrous
and perfectly, perfectly fucked up.

I have been depressed for the past 24 hours,
and in my depression have found hope unconquerable -
for it has already been conquered, has already surrendered.

I would see humanity expand,
and slip loose of all the dualistic shackles
attendant to the experience
of being consciousness incarnate.

We are a phenomenon of consciousness itself, and so innately unconstrained.
We do not succumb or overcome, win or lose.

It may appear that way to those taken in by the scoreboard's simple illusion:

"Oh well, good game... we lost."

Did you?

It can be a horrifyingly ecstatic sensation, to surrender to the truths that lie beyond the boundaries of either/or.

As I commit more and more fully to abandoning myself to what is, something new seems to be happening. I sense the subtle emergence of a crystalline quality in myself, a quality that seems to suffuse everyday life with a moment-to-moment ability to be peacefully, attentively, alertly, and contemplatively present.

I don't find it easy, I find it a challenge to completely surrender the widely-held belief system which insists that there's a right way and a wrong way to do, a right way and a wrong way to be.

Often I find myself desperate for some evaluative criteria the same way I'd be desperate for air underwater - there is a similar sense of losing myself.

Often I race back to dualistic standards like a child fleeing back to mom and dad - the playground is too noisy, too confusing, too chaotic and I don't know what to do, don't know how to play, don't know what the rules are... at least with mom and dad I know if I'm doing it right or not.

When this happens, I can be pretty hard on myself - I've had a lot of practice establishing unrealistically high expectations and then berating myself when I fall short.

I find it hardest when I feel isolated.

Although I can be quite articulate here in blog-world,

in the face-to-face interactions of everyday life I'm often at a loss

when asked to speak about what I'm doing with my life.

People ask me questions like:

"What did you do today?"

or

"What are you working on?"

and I don't know how to answer. Once I tried saying:

"I'm intentionally outgrowing the dichotomy of polarity, because I'm utterly inspired by the vision of what humanity will inevitably collectively accomplish once we all do the same."

...and the conversation sort of stalled at that point.

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