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You Are What You Seek - Nonduality and the Awakening You Are

pfeldtman@gmail.com

We're All In This Together

by Ryan Moore

I need to know you're with me

It seems a simple choice -
succumb, or overcome?
Succeed, or fail?
Winner, or loser?

The english language is riddled with dualities,
each one of them cheapening
the fascinating variegated integrity
of creation itself.
(I.E., us.)

Many of us are force-fed these notions
and our mind, fulfilling it's function, digests them -
integrating yes/no understandings into our identity.

Are you fat, or skinny?
Stupid, or smart?
If you're not pretty you must be ugly,
and if you're not a 'have'
you must be one of the unfortunate 'have-nots.'

Are you good at dancing? Bad at sports? Can you sing, or not?
Do you have your shit together, or don't you?

Are you living up to your potential? Yes or no?

Think positive!
(Don't think negative, don't think negative, don't think negative.)

Be courageous!
(But what if I'm afraid?)

Happy people are successful!
(Great, now I'm sad and unsuccessful.)

Truth is not an either/or,
truth is terrifyingly brave
and grievously joyful.

Life is radiantly monstrous
and perfectly, perfectly fucked up.

I have been depressed for the past 24 hours,
and in my depression have found hope unconquerable -
for it has already been conquered, has already surrendered.

I would see humanity expand,
and slip loose of all the dualistic shackles
attendant to the experience
of being consciousness incarnate.

We are a phenomenon of consciousness itself, and so innately unconstrained.
We do not succumb or overcome, win or lose.

It may appear that way to those taken in by the scoreboard's simple illusion:

"Oh well, good game... we lost."

Did you?

It can be a horrifyingly ecstatic sensation, to surrender to the truths that lie beyond the boundaries of either/or.

As I commit more and more fully to abandoning myself to what is, something new seems to be happening. I sense the subtle emergence of a crystalline quality in myself, a quality that seems to suffuse everyday life with a moment-to-moment ability to be peacefully, attentively, alertly, and contemplatively present.

I don't find it easy, I find it a challenge to completely surrender the widely-held belief system which insists that there's a right way and a wrong way to do, a right way and a wrong way to be.

Often I find myself desperate for some evaluative criteria the same way I'd be desperate for air underwater - there is a similar sense of losing myself.

Often I race back to dualistic standards like a child fleeing back to mom and dad - the playground is too noisy, too confusing, too chaotic and I don't know what to do, don't know how to play, don't know what the rules are... at least with mom and dad I know if I'm doing it right or not.

When this happens, I can be pretty hard on myself - I've had a lot of practice establishing unrealistically high expectations and then berating myself when I fall short.

I find it hardest when I feel isolated.

Although I can be quite articulate here in blog-world,

in the face-to-face interactions of everyday life I'm often at a loss

when asked to speak about what I'm doing with my life.

People ask me questions like:

"What did you do today?"

or

"What are you working on?"

and I don't know how to answer. Once I tried saying:

"I'm intentionally outgrowing the dichotomy of polarity, because I'm utterly inspired by the vision of what humanity will inevitably collectively accomplish once we all do the same."

...and the conversation sort of stalled at that point.

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There is Nothing for the Ego in Enlightenment

If I was to translate the enlightened state down into human terms, I'd have to describe it as contentment. Being nobody, going nowhere, needing no reason to exist. To the ego, that probably sounds a little boring, and of course to an ego it is. But then again, there's really nothing for the ego in enlightenment. In enlightenment, the egoic false self is rendered an irrelevant illusion, a mask, a character that nothingness wears while pretending to be human.

Not only is there nothing in enlightenment for the ego, the ego is really nothing but a defense against enlightenment. I'm not saying that ego is bad or evil because its not. I'm saying that ego is a social and personal construct and therefore an illusion. But there's nothing wrong with an illusion. A painting is an illusion; a movie is an illusion; a good novel is an illusion. The problem isn't with illusion; the problem is with the emotional attachments and addictions of ego.

~ Adyashanti

The Philosophy of Anon

Anon
1 : archaic : at once : immediately
2 : soon, presently /tomorrow will be here anon - Nathaniel Hawthorne/
3 : after a while : later /more of that anon/

You live in a Universe

that exceeds your perception of it
You may see it, taste it
hear it or feel it
And while it contains all those things
It is more

To name the Universe

is an attempt to limit

limitlessness
Yet there is a part of us
that speaks
And that part needs names
So let us call this Universe,
Reality
with the understanding
there is more to it
Then we can ever name

There is also a part of us
that wants to be free of naming
Wants to be free of detail
free of manifestation
A part that only wants
the underlying mystery and magic
of Reality

The historical conflict between these two parts
these two engines of the mind
Is perhaps the result of a misunderstanding
We often feel it would be best
to be one and destroy the other
But who would cut off his right hand
because he wants to be left handed?
Who would willingly blind himself in one eye
or deliberately destroy one foot?
Who wants eternal Daylight
or forever Darkness
Why then should we seek only to name Reality
or to end all naming?
It is in the balance
that we find the universal harmony

Perhaps this dichotomy
is part of the natural human heritage because
We perceive this Reality
through the filters of our human brains
the Left and the Right minds
The Left brain understands
Logic and Language
The Right brain understands
Love, Magic and Religion
The Left analyzes and dissects
The Right synthesizes and creates
But who would want only one or the other?
Who would want rainbows of only one color?
All mystery and manifestation within us
arises from our perception and reflection
of the Universe
But the Cosmos is not obliged to reside
only within our grasp of it
Who can truly say
there is no more?
Who can limit the limitless?

You have been told there are
Three dimensions, perhaps Four
Things are not Black or White but Grey
such dogma denotes limited thinking

Believing thus you bleed
all color, texture and taste from Reality
We live in a multi-dimensional Universe
Unbound in its responses

to our eyes
hands and pallet
Our waking and dreaming mind
And still extending beyond

Perhaps when you name a thing ugly
you limit the beauty you can find in it
Perhaps when you name a thing bad
you limit the good that you can see in it
Is this a really balanced perception?
We may limit our perception
but we can not limit the Universe

Living is balanced by Non-living
Arduous is balanced by Easy
Day by Night
Love by Fear
Light by Darkness
Hope by Despair
Heat by Coolness
Earth by Fire by Water by Air by Earth . . .

None of us can expect an endlessly easy life
we all must touch Reality
Or spend our lives trying to hide from it
But when overwhelmed by one extreme
remember the other is not far away
You will discover that Reality is balanced
but not perfectly symmetrical
Such Cycles are a means of Balance
Everything happens
It just doesn't happen all at once
That's why we have Time

Let us consider for a moment
the two aspects of Balance
There is static Balance
where all things stop
all motion stops
no sound, no heat, no matter . . .
Nothingness
And there is dynamic balance
such as a man walking
the middle of a curving road
Know the difference
You can not control a thing
by only stopping it
Control comes from directing the motion
of things

When Balance is achieved
Is it possible to act
without doing anything?
To dance without moving?

Is it possible to be taught
without a teacher?
To have without holding?
To Act outside of Fear or Anticipation of reward?

Is it possible
to let things appear in the distance
move to this place
and let them go
While perceiving the balance
of this motion within Reality?

It is said that our current aspect of Universe
Began in a great explosion
or rending of nothingness into which
one tiny seed of energy became everything
The speaking side of the mind
sees the Wonder of this
The mysterious side of the mind
sees God

A beginning
a middle
what of the end?
Is this not in keeping with Balance?
The Past and the Future
fuse in this Instant
Anon

While the Matter/Energy of this Cosmos
remains balanced
The possibilities are without limit
The Universe is
the Well of first things
A storehouse of new and old things
ever evolving, growing, changing
The Universe is an ever opening flower
And You are part of the Dance
You are not divorced from it
how can you be an unnatural thing?
Are your atoms from somewhere else?
Is your pattern so bizarre?
You are human and share
in the heritage of human beginning
middle and end
How could it be otherwise?

Inside of You . . .
you are a universe
There is the infinite circular ring of You
surrounded the receding
Great out-there
and filled with the vast
Great In-here
The Universe touches your universe
at every points
and all points beyond
You can paint your walls
any way you like
Or you can learn
to see the subtle colors
already there

Hold to the center of the Universe
If you talk of it
and do not dance with it
you will become confused
If you paint it with all the pigments known
and do not reflect it
you will become murky
If you follow the rituals of others
with infinite attention to detail
you will become disillusioned

But if you face each moment
with an open hand
an open heart
an open mind
You will be the Master
of the Moment
And a life is built
of such moments

It is said that the Universe
is running down
But is in this degradation of energy
lies the integration of Life
Human life is the water
that runs uphill
Notice how beautifully
Order arises out of Chaos
without breaking any of the True Rules

The vast open spaces within the Universe
contain an indeterminate number of worlds
The Universe is always pregnant
giving birth to the New
This birthing is the rising up
from the ashes
The fresh breeze of Spring
within the depths of Winter
It is always present within you
How will you use it?

It is said
That which is not born can not die
Is that wisdom?
Is that eternal?
Perhaps . . .
But each moment is born
used
and passed to the past
If these moments are of no use
why do we build them?
Each is special, different
unique
Not a thing to be wasted
If you waste the moments of your life
you will end up
with a bunch of wasted moments

The Past touches the Future
As this moment
this instant
this Now
Anon
Right now
The waters of the Sea
are transformed into the mist
And in this same instant
the clouds are congealing and twisting
And in this same instant
the rains are nourishing all things
And passing through caverns
creek and riverbeds
Running away
away to the Sea
All in Motion
all in Balance
as it should be

There are myriad other examples
of this balance in process
and you should take time
to name them and see them in your mind
Do this and you will never grow bored
You must keep you mind ductile

In living
remember the Earth, the Air, the Fire
and the Rain
I know we have much fancier names than these
But you get my drift

Keep things simple
in your mind
Children have such complicated minds
to be truly simple
you must be older

Confront your adversaries
with your understanding of the Truth
Examine your own motives
seek counsel in wise people
Be Fair and Just
They are people too
and people generally will not do
things that they feel are wrong

If a person does a bad thing
he will have to lie to himself
Saying
"I have the right to . . ."
Or
"He hurt me and my honor demands . . ."
This is an attempt to avoid responsibility
to make the other an object
which can be destroyed with impunity
It is a lie

Try to avoid making such lies
But when the Truth is manifest
as it always must be
Forgive your opponents
forgive your friends
forgive yourself
Odds are its all non-sense
though it wont seem so at the time

Chose a vocation that you enjoy
Avoid over zealous competition
Commerce, like Life, is a process
not a means to an end
Avoid comparing yourself to others
Each of us has many attributes
and envy is not a nice one to have

Father and Mother your Children well
Any civilization
which does not prepare a place for
the children
Has about one generation
to realize its mistake


William C. Burns, Jr.
chyfrin437@yahoo.com